Topless Toddlers?
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A recent blog post on the SunSentinel.com got me thinking of a dilemma I have yet to face. At what age should your toddler girl, who is used to spending sun-soaked beach days with swimming bottoms and nothing else, have to cover up?
Rafael Olmeda writes:
Should toddlers cover up in public?
My wife and I discussed the issue the other day after a snorkeling trip in Key West. A little girl on the boat with us, no more than 4 years old, was with her father on the same excursion, and she wasn’t wearing a top.
I’ve never raised a toddler daughter; my stepkids are in their teens, and the younger of the two was 11 when I met them. But I did ask my wife whether she ever allowed them to be in public without a top, and until what age. Her response: no way. Not in public.
Clearly, the issue has a cultural component. I heard the toddler’s dad speaking a language I didn’t recognize, so it’s likely they were from someplace less inhibited than the United States can be. But still, this trip was in the United States. Should this dad have recognized that? You know, put the other half of the bathing suit on the kid?
Topless toddlers raise a slew of questions, of course. Like why did I think she should have a top on when I wasn’t wearing one? Why is it okay for little boys, and big boys, but not big girls? And when is a little girl big enough that a top becomes a necessity?
What do you think? Should little girls be allowed to go topless for as long as they want? If not, at what age should they wear a top? Do we live in a society that unnecessarily covers up body parts, especially in young girls, making them feel like what they have is “bad?” Leave your opinions in the comments below!
Great gift for Dad (and the kiddos) Car Play Shirt by TheBlueBasketShop 
Comment by Sandra on Sep 01 2009 09:32:50:
The human body is incredibly beautiful, and no child should be taught to be ashamed of it. I would say that little girls should cover up when they become aware of their bodies; possibly around 5 or 6 in public, and frankly whenever they want at home. I don’t worry AT ALL about anyone leering – child molesters simply aren’t everywhere and it’s not the strangers that we should “fear” anyways (statistically speaking, Uncle Bob is the one to act inappropriately, not the man down the street or on the beach).
I think it would be a shame to tell a young girl (or boy) that the body is to be covered up because of mis-informed or misunderstood societal expectations.
Comment by Kelly on Sep 01 2009 10:03:13:
She should be encouraged to cover up – not because of decency issues – but because of the sun damage. Most skin cancers are caused from sun exposure when we are in our childhoods. Adults and kids alike should cover up and set an example on what to wear in the sun.
Else when this girl hits school age the peer pressure will be such that she will want to be wearing what everyone else wears. Give the toddler a break, if it wants to run round naked, let her. It’s the only time in our lives (or at least until we are too senile to care) when we don’t have to worry about what everyone else thinks – they are your values not hers, so get over it. They are toddlers they have a world of fun to explore.
Comment by jasmine H on Sep 01 2009 11:15:44:
I am a mother of a two year old little girl and I have already started teaching her about her space and privacy because I want her to respect her body and understand that her body is not something just anyone should be looking at. I know for us parents we see them as just kids but to child molesters they look at our kids in a perverted way and I think letting a child run around in public without clothes on is not the best idea. I think running around the house partially naked is good for a child it makes them feel free but out in public i think children need to learn to respect their bodies and know that people should not be looking at them naked, just because they are not developed does not mean their body’s should be viewed by the world. I believe a child’s body should be respected just like them as people, no matter how young or how old they may be.
Comment by Yolanda on Sep 01 2009 11:36:36:
I have to agree with Sandra and Kelly. Don’t impose your own fears and values on the child and teach them there is something naughty about being topless as a toddler. Respect for your body is important, as is modesty. But that is not the lesson they will learn here. Conversely, they’ll learn that being topless only serves to lure bad thoughts and/or actions. That doesn’t seem like a healthy perspective of self. It’s ludicrous to believe that solely because a toddler isn’t topless will suffice to keep the molesters at bay and their thoughts innocent. You can’t control what other peoople are going to do or think regardless of what you do. Better to allow the child to learn lessons from a SELF-respecting point of view than from fear and embarassment and allow them the innocence they so richly deserve. Once you cross that boundary, you can never go back.
Comment by Angie on Sep 02 2009 05:41:55:
I don’t think a bikini top or one piece bathing suit on a toddler will keep any lurking predators from thinking disgusting thoughts. When I was little, I would run around topless at the beach and pool and never thought anything of it. Why would I? Althought I do remember one time a little boy told me I should have a top on and I told him then why didn’t he?
As a mom of three boys, I don’t have to worry about this issue and I’m thankful. I have let my kids run naked around the yard and if I was at a beach that wasn’t crowded, I probably would let them run naked for a bit, too. It’s the only time they can really do this and they have no shame about their bodies. That comes later in life, no matter how we raise our kids. Society is there telling us it’s dirty, dirty, dirty. I want to do what I can to combat that ridiculous attitude.
As for grown women running around without a top on, that’d be great except many of the men in the U.S. are too immature and think of breasts solely as a sexual object. Our men need to grow up and evlove before we’ll ever become a more open country about our bodies.
Comment by a on Sep 02 2009 03:06:59:
My daughter does not run around topless for 2 reasons. 1) We are very fair skinned and it would be irresponsible of me to let her do so. 2) It wouldn’t occur to me to send her out in just bottoms because of my cultural background.
I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with a half naked toddler (boy or girl), but I would find it unusual because that’s just not how we do things in my family. My girl will run around naked in our house and lift up her shirt or dress wherever she happens to be. I ask her to get her clothes on (usually because we’re going out) or put her shirt down, but don’t make a big issue of it.
Comment by Jill on Sep 22 2009 10:32:29:
We live in southern California and have neighbors originally from Paris who have a 9 year old daughter. Every summer they go away to the south of France and they come back in August. We always see each other at the pool and interestingly, before they go away, at the beginning of summer, the girl is always in a two-piece suit, and after she gets back, she is always at the pool topless, and completely tanned on top without tan lines. My husband and I secretly call her “St. Tropez Sara”.
It started when she was 5, and this summer I was quietly marveling that a) her parents wouldn’t by now quietly ask her to always have a two piece on and b) that she still has so much self-confidence and is not the slightest bit self-conscious, which is actually a wonderful thing. So I have to say I am on the fence about it. On the one hand, I would never allow my own daughter to do that, but on the other hand, how great that at least in some parts of the world, girls can feel so free and be unfettered by other people’s perceptions of their own bodies.
Comment by Vernetta L. Soiset on Sep 23 2012 03:07:39:
I never allowed my now 20 year old to be without proper attire at any age, infant on up. There is nothing cute about a child girl in next to no clothing, it is in appropriate. At 15-16 when all the girls were wearing their hooker wear tops and low low rise clothes I told my daughter that if you dress like a tramp expect to be treated like a tramp. She was way too pretty to cheapen herself like. At 16 I allowed an inch of skin and no more, at 20 she understands and agrees with me and why I enforced the dress code. Boys worth attracting are the ones that can your beauty without you exposing half of your body. And before you speculate, she is a beautiful girl. Part white and part native american, olive complected with blues, long and lean with a larger bust than I had hoped. This was my personal preference for my daughter, my baby girl. But if I had to put an age, I would say not after about 2 years old.
Comment by Marie Kalm on Apr 21 2013 09:06:06:
In this day and age I would say having a little girl, baby and up means keeping her clothed. It is a part of our society and the majority of the population want to keep girls covered up in that sense and that should be respected. If it was more acceptable to have girls walking around topless just like men I would have a different opinion.