The New SAHM
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There is a new type of stay-at-home mom these days: We don’t stay at home at all. We are “working” just as hard as any mom with a nine-to-five (or -six, or -seven) job. We’re up at six in the morning, making breakfast, packing healthy lunches and then driving our children to school. In the afternoon, we’re studying for additional degrees, planning balanced meals and bringing in extra income as writers, realtors, travel agents, yoga teachers or entrepreneurs. Then we’re picking up our children from school.
Most stay-at-home-moms produce interesting work outside of what they do for their children and families, but it’s often not recognized. For this new version of the stay-at-home mom, the question “How do you balance work and family?” is an easy one to answer: Balance is part of every moment of our day.
Our kids come with us to work and play beside us; they are our work, and we know when to put our other work down, because ultimately they’re what it’s all for, anyway. I was raised by a “working mother” who taught me that I could be and do anything I wanted when I was a grown woman — and what I wanted was everything: a child, a career, friends and a great relationship with my husband.
We are sometimes told that that’s asking for too much, and that one (or more) of those things must be sacrificed. Why? I might not be able to have sex with my husband at the same time I’m writing my book, or playing Clue with my child while I’m sleeping, but why would I want to? I do believe it’s possible to have it all. The secret is to simply carve out the life you choose — alongside supportive people.
What a great gift idea for a mom-to-be. Pregnancy Countdown Hand Painted Magnetic Chalkboard $28.00 
Comment by Becky on Sep 21 2010 09:57:52:
I am a SAHM and between my normal household duties, taking care of my two year old and working a part-time job O/L from home – I put in 14 hours a day without a minute to myself. I don’t know any ‘working’ moms who do that (they at least get a lunch break for themselves)!
Comment by Amy on Sep 22 2010 12:27:11:
I am a ‘working’ mom and not only do I have to do everything a stay at home mom does but I also have to be away from my child all day. And I don’t get a lunch break at work most days. Being a SAHM is a luxury not everyone has. Consider yourself blessed. There’s no comparison.
Comment by Elisabeth on Sep 22 2010 02:07:59:
I agree, Amy. I don’t take a lunch break so that I can get to the preschool all that more quickly to pick up my children. I don’t have the option for part-time, and I can’t bring them to the office with me every day. Instead, I spend alot of the day missing them and trying to squeeze as much work into office time as I can in order to put the blackberry away at night. I have to balance drop-offs and pick-ups and sick days without looking like I’m not fully committed to my FT job. It definitely is a blessing to get more face time with your kids as a SAHM. I’m not working so that I can have “me time for myself” and don’t know any working moms who are.
Comment by Anita on Sep 22 2010 09:16:41:
Being a SAHM is a blessing, I agree. However, no one who is not in my shoes knows what my day is like. I never get a break – and I’m complaining, because I adore my daughter and love being able to see her hit milestones and grow and learn about the world around her. But I honestly never get a break. I am a full-time babysitter, housekeeper, cook, party planner, home organizer, accountant, etc, etc, etc, and that means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. At home…everyday…all day. We chose this route since paying for childcare did not make sense for us and this is not the case for everyone – we HAVE sacrificed and cut budgets to make this work – it is NOT a luxury as one put it – it is a necessity. Not to say that we don’t have playdates, MOPS groups, church groups, and the like, but it has been probably the biggest adjustment I have every made in my life – giving up my career outside the home be the primary caregiver to my children at home. We all have our good and bad, whether a SAHM or a working mom, but I honestly believe that neither one is better than the other and neither one should make the other feel like theirs is the better way to go.
Comment by Anita on Sep 22 2010 09:17:31:
oops!!! should read in the second line, “I’m NOT complaining”
Comment by sarah on Sep 23 2010 05:41:29:
being a stay at home mom is certainly a go-go life. kids are busy little workers and this is why i am typing at such a late hour. this is “me” time.
Comment by Elisabeth on Sep 23 2010 03:15:02:
I think all motherhood- SAHM or working- is non-stop because we choose to be good mother and do what’s best for our families.
I just don’t think it’s fair to say that a working mom gets more “me” time… I’m also still party planner, home organzier, cook, accountant, etc ect- oh, and I work FT. Just because I am working doesn’t mean I have assistants doing everything else for me! Everything else has to get done too- Just as it is for a SAHM (I have friends who are SAHMs, and we compare notes).
All I am saying is that working FT is not me getting pedicures and bubblebaths for 8 hours while someone else makes dinner for my kids and balances my checkbook.
Comment by megan on Sep 29 2010 04:17:28:
I definitely think that we should be supporting each other rather than trying to make lists of who does what and compare lifes. We are all moms and we all work hard for our kids, regardless of if it is in an office or at home. Being able to experience both in the past year I understand the joy and frustration of both. I think we need to come together and support each other and give that pat on the back and support that every mom needs on hard days, we are all working towards the same direction here. Let’s not come so quick to judgement ladies, we are not competing against one another.