“My Mother-in-Law Is Driving Me Crazy!”
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Q.I am married with a 6-month-old, and my mother-n-law is constantly telling me I’m doing something wrong (I buy the wrong diapers, I have him on a bad sleep schedule, etc.). I feel bad because I love my husband, and don’t want to upset him, but I might explode soon. Any advice for how I can make her stop annoying me?!-Lesley
A. I think you need to first discuss this with your husband and ask his opinion. See what he thinks and then establish some ground rules for yourself. What are you willing to accept from her in terms of advice? Then, ask your mother-in-law if she’ll grab a coffee with you. Tell her exactly how you feel…which is what you related to me in your question.
Let her know that you are doing your best, and that being a new mom, as she knows, is stressful and that you appreciate any advice you can get, but that criticism just makes you feel worse. Tell her you would certainly welcome her ideas, but most of all you would welcome her support. I have to believe that if you open your heart, she will do the same. If she does not , report back and we will go to Plan B.
Good Luck!
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Comment by Julie on Jan 23 2009 05:30:55:
I have a very similar situation with my MIL. My problem is that I talked to my husband and he was very defensive about it. Now I’m not sure what I should do…
Pingback by How do I discipline my grandchild? – New Parent on Jan 27 2009 11:23:55:
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Comment by jenny on Jan 09 2010 05:04:38:
most boys have strong ties with their moms, and that is why it is so hard for them to stand up to their mothers and will very often be defensive about it. I just kept talking to my husband, bringing up the conversation so he could see where I was coming from and letting him know I didn’t want to upset him in regards to his mother and that I was just looking for ways to make everything better . . . I think the point that struck home with him is that we are the parents now . . . yes we still have parents to honor and respect, but we are the only ones to stand up and speak up for our daughter. That is our responsibility – our 1st responsibility is to our daughter and to our family . . . then the our parents etc etc. Looking at things from a different perspective . . . and knowing it is always ok to stand up for your child and for yourself . . . just work together to find the right ways to stand up