Making YOU a Priority
Facebook 
Get Our Newsletter! 
Print
From the featured blog, The Days of a SAHM
Time for yourself, what’s that??? I struggle with this each and every day. I want to spend time with my kids. I love spending time with their smiling, and sometimes screaming, faces. I don’t like to leave them.
It took me a while to figure out just what my fear was: Was I afraid that some one/thing would hurt them? No, not really. Our home is very safe, and for the most part (if I ever did leave my children) I would be leaving them with their Dad. P.S. – I have a 15 month old and a 3 month old, in case you were wondering. Was it because they would miss me, and I would miss them? No. I believe that it is important to miss someone, especially children, because you start to learn to become independent. (I am convinced, however, that my children will never leave the house. That would be just too much for my little heart to handle.) Then it dawned on me…..
….I am deathly afraid that if I leave them, even for a short period of time, that is when they will do something big. Like, the first time my son says “Mama!” (yes, my son is 15 months old….and has yet to say “Mama”, sigh. At least he is cute, haha)! I know, I know….irrational. But, that is how I feel. I would hate to miss, even one thing, just because I wanted (no, it’s truly a need), eh needed, time to myself.
Then I started to think rationally, how likely is it that something will happen while I am “gone”? I am with my children 99% of the time, so they are probably glad to get rid of me that measly one percent. 
So, I started out slow. At first, I would only leave for two hours, twice a month, to get groceries. Other than that my kids had me 24/7 (Lord help them! I don’t know anyone who would want to spend 24 hours a day with me!!!).
Then I realized (after losing it a few too many times!) I needed more than just twice a month. I needed to get away daily, just to recharge my batteries.
So now, I leave my wonderfully cute children for about a half hour each day. I do very simple things:
Ex. #1 – Escape to our bedroom while my wonderful husband watched the kids (which is exactly what he is doing now, isn’t he great?!?!). During this time I: read, blog, watch t.v., or just relax.
Ex. #2 – Tanning. Yes people, I know it is bad for you…but, it is so relaxing. I turn on the bed, click into my Pandora app., and turn into a bronze goddess. Haha, okay not really a bronze goddess. That is just wishful thinking.
Ex. #3 – Take a drive. Yes, I will normally run an errand or two (or three or four) while I am out. But, when I am done with those errands, I embrace the open road. Taking forgotten roads winding through corn fields, and admire the sun setting across the orange-ish sky.
Okay, so you get my point. Just do something that relaxes you.
Believe me ladies, you need this time to yourself. Carve out a little bit, even 15 minutes, a day just to do something you enjoy. You will be a much better wife, mother, friend, daughter, aunt, and any other titles you might associate with yourself.
Let me know what works for you….what relaxes you? How do you carve out time for yourself?
Staying Connected to Friends Without Kids..here's how to keep those post-baby bonds 
Comment by carol on Mar 17 2010 01:37:36:
thanks for this! this is how i feel, although partially i also feel bad leaving both children [3 years & 10 months] with my husband when he’s tired from working. but he’s great and understands i need it even though he can’t always provide. every so often he will usher me out the door or at least suggest i go out even if i am unwilling or if i actually look energized [hardly ever]. but i’ll definitely try to do it more because it DOES recharge my batteries and i’m a much happier and interesting mom after i get back home to my babies.
Comment by kim on Mar 17 2010 02:28:00:
Isn’t he great? Are you kidding me?!! He acts as a father for only a half an hour every day???!!! Wow. Where is your equal partner? You should be getting more than 30 minutes a day to yourself. That makes me just sad. 30 minutes is nothing. Wow, this post is really such a step backwards for women. I can’t even fathom where we’re headed next.
Comment by Kelly on Mar 17 2010 11:59:41:
I had to giggle when I read what you wrote about tanning. I do the same thing and that’s exactly how it makes me feel. It may seem silly to some, but it’s a big deal for me to even do that for myself. I haven’t had had a break this week (and I have take little ones too as I am learning how to do this whole “do for me” thing)and wow what a difference even a half an hour makes.
Comment by Ariana on Mar 19 2010 08:46:33:
So, I completely identified with this. I had my first haircut in a year the other day and I felt fabulous. But I also wondered what was happening while I was away. Working full time, I have mastered not stressing about what they do at daycare. (Having chosen to go back to work, I have no choice but to miss those milestones that happen while I am at work.) But, when I am not at work and not with my kids, I really have a hard time being away from them. I think I need to learn to at least take escape #1 to the bedroom. It really does make a difference when I take that time to regroup…then I am much more patient with my children if I have been patient with myself.
Comment by Jennifer Overy on Mar 27 2010 06:03:11:
@Kim – First of all, thank you for the comment. I just wanted to address something. Z (my husband) would let me take as much time as I need, however I don’t want to be away from my children for longer than a half hour. That 30 minutes is more than enough to recharge my batteries….and I can play will the family. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life. When he is home, we share all of our household responsibilities. I suggest you check out my web-site (http://thedaysofasahm.blogspot.com), and you can see just how much Z helps me with everything. Again, thank you for your comment….and I apologize for not making this clear in my original post.
Comment by Brittanie on Mar 30 2010 02:35:18:
@Kim…knowing Jennifer personally and knowing her husband Z as well I will have to disagree with your comment. Her husband is fantastic and helps out fully with their two small children whenever he is home. Jen is the resident domestic goddess in our friendship and loves to spend time with her children and husband. I don’t go around assuming that you are a bitter person with a bad attitude by one post although you are doing quite a good job of acting that way. Have a wonderful day!
Comment by lisa on Mar 30 2010 03:22:24:
Kim I havw to disagree STRONGLY if the parent who’s home during the day should get more than a half hour a day how is that sharing responsibility??? Does the person who works outide the house not deserve time to do things they enjoy simply because they weren’t home all day? And if they both get equal time of more than half an hour a day how do you have ANY family time. Crazy to me. But I can’t imagine either of us getting a daily break. We ech take our time in larger chunks much less frequently. But I guess I’m biased cuz I’m the one who’s working out of the house. When I did stay home my husband came home and wanted an hour to unwind. I don’t get that but if he wanted a daily chunk of time i’d be expecting more to be done during the day then is currently