Facebook Etiquette for New Parents
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By Lyz Lenz
Facebook is a rough and tumble jungle of innuendo, TMI and annoyance. But it’s also the easiest way to share updates about your child to family and friends who are far away. But for many parents, balance the share with the over share, the information with the too much information, becomes a little bit of a balancing act.
The mysterious B, who runs stfuparentsblog.com, a site dedicated to mocking parents who over share on Facebook, notes, “No one sets out to become the kind of parent who ends up on STFU Parents. It’s important to know when to edit.”
But avoiding Facebook over share is hard for many parents. Nicole Perri, social media and community manager for Diapers.com, believes that most parents come by their over share honestly: “Parents are full of advice, especially for new Moms and Dads.
They have already gone through the sleepless nights and worries and they are happy to relieve a lot of that stress. They are so giving and supportive that I can’t help but fall in love with them again and again,” but this out pouring of advice can also turn people off to you, your kid and your Facebook feed. So, in order to avoid alienating your friends and the people who love you, here are 5 Facebook etiquette tips every new parent should keep in mind.
1. Avoid “Mommyjacking”
Loosely defined, mommyjacking involves, hijacking someone’s Facebook status/picture or other media, in order to talk about your children. According to B, “mommyjacking” complaints are second only to complaints about parents posting about poop. “With the mommyjacking, what can I say? People really enjoy finding an opening (where there sometimes isn’t one) to talk about their children. It’s an epidemic!”
Notes Perri, “Other parents will understand and share your joy. Your former co-workers who are still hitting the bars every night? Not so much.”
Go to the next page for more tips…
Staying Connected to Friends Without Kids..here's how to keep those post-baby bonds 
Comment by STFU Parents on Sep 19 2011 02:02:06:
Hi there! Love the article, but will you please change/note that the URL to my blog is stfuparentsblog.com? That would be great, thanks!
- B.
Comment by Kelly Corder on Sep 19 2011 08:50:13:
I clicked on the link to stfuparentsblog.com and it took me to some spam junk. Typo in the URL link possibly?
Comment by KS on Sep 20 2011 01:14:35:
Cute article but one point of contention. Can sites stop making me load a bazillion pages just so they can “increase” their pageviews and charge their ad buyers more money? It’s so much easier just to scan the whole article at once!
Comment by Bec on Sep 20 2011 01:23:12:
If posting pictures of your kid covered in poop says, “I LOVE MY KID,” then something really is wrong with parents today. But what do I know, I’m too busy going out to bars to care.
Comment by Cherie on Sep 20 2011 02:05:46:
This article was good but barely scratched the surface. What a out people who insist on showing birth photos that include the placenta? What about women who use Facebook to whine and complain about how hard their lives are to the point that if a childless friend got hit by a bus, a mombie chimes in something like “what, you broke your arm? That’s nothing compared to a c section!” The list is very long.
Comment by Laura on Sep 21 2011 01:48:14:
I resent Nicole Perri’s implication in the beginning of this article that the only people on Facebook who don’t have children are bar-hopping singles. I’m happily married and don’t drink, but I don’t have children and I certainly don’t want to see photographs of what other people’s children put in their diapers.
Here’s another one your article missed: Parents are not superior beings. I am really fed up with being told by society that no matter what I do in my life, I have no right to be either satisfied with my accomplishments or worn down by sickness or injury because I have never given birth.
Comment by Nichole on Sep 21 2011 02:47:02:
Laura, I completely agree with you! I also hate being told that there is absolutely no way that I can understand certain concepts because I have no kids. I’m also tired of people saying things like “WHEN you have kids,” rather than “IF you ever have kids.” So many people think that it’s every woman’s goal (or inevitability) to have kids. What’s even worse with that matter is that people will drill that into the heads of small children, always saying things like, “WHEN you get married and/or have kids…”
It saddens me to see some people’s life goals are to just get married and have kids, no matter what.
People also tell me I’m selfish because I don’t want kids. It’s not selfish, it’s prioritizing. What would be selfish is bringing a kid into a situation that I can’t handle!
…whew, ok, I’m done venting
Comment by Michelle on Sep 21 2011 03:21:06:
Nothing wrong with not having or wanting kids- they are a huge responsibility best taken on by the people who are really wanting it. Had to laugh though about women who don’t have kids venting about their issues on a website called “newparent.com” . . . I am not sure that you will find the most sympathetic ears here ladies since most of us are in fact new parent’s ourselves.
As far as facebook goes I struggle with the question of whether anything related to my child should even be posted on the web. And how do you handle others (like grandparents) posting pictures of your child on their facebook page, or someone copying a picture of yours that you set to only be viewed by specific people and then sharing with all of their friends. When it comes to children and social media etiquette, I think there are a lot more issues then mom’s posting details about their daily battles with poo.
Comment by Nichole on Sep 23 2011 03:21:49:
Haha, I didn’t even notice the website that this article was on! I clicked the link that was on the “STFU, Parents” facebook page
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