Why Parents Want Boys
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By Lyz Lenz
When I was pregnant I wanted a girl. Boys are endemic in my husband’s family and so everyone assured me that I would have a boy. The thought terrified me. I grew up with four sisters, spent half of my life wearing dress up dresses and the other half devouring feminist literature. What would I do with a boy?
The rest of the world, it seems, isn’t so predisposed to girls. According to “The Case for Girls” published in a recent issue of Fast Company, there is a worldwide preference for boys. It appears despite the gains women have made in education, suffrage and business; they still haven’t won the hearts and minds of prospective parents. In developing nations, this preference is pragmatic, men earn more, they have more rights, and carry the family name. But in America, where 54% of couples would prefer a male child over a female one, the preference has nothing to do with pragmatism.
In fact, most of the practical reasons for having a boy are no longer supported by data. According to the author, Anya Kamenetz, herself pregnant with a girl, “In the 21st century, there’s a compelling case for girls as the equal–and in some cases, optimal–gender for roles in leadership, innovation, and economic growth. Women excel in education, the most crucial factor in tomorrow’s workforce; we are 56% of undergraduates in the U.S. and approaching parity in China and India. Our socialization is geared toward the right stuff for the changing requirements of success in the 21st century: Women are likely to have a more balanced, empathetic leadership style, better communication skills, a knack for fostering innovation through collaboration.”
So, why are people still anti-girl? In response to the article, Jezbel blogger, Erin Gloria Ryan suggests that it has nothing to do with practicalities and more to do with fear. She writes, “Maybe more Americans would be convinced to prefer daughters when they’re convinced that the world that waits for them isn’t sort of awful.”
But I’m not convinced. I know all too well the dangerous realities that face women even in America. Sexual exploitation, violence and wage discrimination are realities I’ve had to face through my own experience and the experience of those close to me, but I’m still so proud to bring a girl into this world. To raise a woman, who is loved, smart and knows her worth that is something I can do. But to raise a man who is smart, loved confident and has to daily live with the realities of what other men do to women? That’s the territory that scares me.
I had my daughter and yes, I am scared for her. But no more than I would be scared for any child. The world is a rough place for everyone. But right now, while she’s little, I can make it wonderful.
Why do you want a boy? What would convince you to want a girl?
About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com
Need a little boost of new-mom confidence? Here's our feel good after pregnancy guide 
Comment by Lynn on Dec 02 2011 03:09:31:
54% isn’t really that much depending on the sample size, margin of error, and statistical significance. Do you have details on the data?
Comment by Lynn on Dec 02 2011 03:14:18:
My initial search shows this is a gallup poll, it can have a margin of error of 3%, and was looking specifically at what child a male would prefer to have. Context please. Don’t use statistics out of context. We end up making a big deal out of something that may not even be there.
Comment by Lyz on Dec 02 2011 03:17:15:
No studies were used out of context. In fact, the context is linked right in the post, no need to do research. I used the statistic just as it has been used in the original article, to show that American’s prefer boys. Yes marginally, but I think it’s still significant. If you want to read more about the research feel free to click on the link provided in the article and read the Fast Times article.
Comment by .Jason on Dec 02 2011 07:21:48:
My wife and I wanted boys with each of our pregnancies, and it’s worked out for us both times. Each of us was the eldest sibling with younger sisters; and we both had the perception that little girls would be a pain to raise.
Comment by Becky on Dec 02 2011 10:10:35:
Ha! My hubby and I wanted a girl as “older” parents because they are much easier as toddlers/preschoolers but knew that they are tougher to raise as teens…we had a boy and could not be happier…its all in how you raise them. In the end I don’t think it matters – as long as you can deliver a healthy baby of any sex you will love him/her just the same
ps…ours is 3 now and while boys are roudier they are so much fun!
Comment by Sarah E Knoke on Dec 03 2011 04:53:14:
I wanted a boy. Not because I thought there was anything wrong with a girl, and I would have loved a girl just as much as I love my son. I wanted a boy because I have brothers, I grew up as a tom boy, and I can't do any hairstyle other than a pony tail. I just wasn't sure what I would do with a girl if she wanted to be girly. I was afraid she would get made fun of because she wouldn't have the cute hairstyles the other girls have, or that she would want to know how to do more girly things that I don't really know how to do. Hopefully my son doesn't want to do girly things either- however if he does, I will try and learn them just like I would have done for a daughter.
Comment by Carole on Dec 03 2011 12:52:56:
I wanted 2 boys and a girl…I got 3 boys
I wanted sons so my husband could have that “throwing balls, talking sports” thing that he loves to do. I wanted my girl so I could go shopping and dress her up and do her hair. These are of course idealistic perceptions of how I wanted things to be. My two older boys are definitely living up to their fathers dreams and hopes – maybe my third son will go shopping and do the things I like to do? Deep down – why did I want 2 boys first? Maybe they are easier in a sense – emotionally wise? Maybe deep down I know its still a man’s world. There is a saying that I have heard that I do think rings true “A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter’s a daughter the rest of her life”. So thank your lucky stars all you parents with daughters!! 
:)
Comment by Lee on Dec 03 2011 05:51:47:
I wanted a son because I always got along better with males. Also, I have a brother and he was such a mommy’s boy while I was always daddy’s girl. I wanted my little mommy’s boy! I was also scared because I never had a good relationship with my mom. I just thought a boy would be easier. But I got a beautiful little girl and now that daddy is out of the picture, it’s just us girls against the world. I cried when I first heard “it’s a girl” but now my girl is three and she is amazing! I don’t think she will be a girly girl which is good because I’m not haha.
Comment by Kim on Dec 05 2011 01:53:08:
I wanted a boy first, only because growing up I always wanted an older protective brother instead of me being the older protective sibling. But i am very happy with my little girl
Comment by Kim on Dec 09 2011 06:56:23:
I agree with most of what’s been said already. I was very pleased when I found out I’m having a boy, because based on my experience with friends’ children, I can handle a rowdy boy better than a girl with attitude. I can also empathize with Lee on having a strained relationship with my mother and being afraid of repeating those bad patterns. And if I wind up having more than one, an older brother is a good asset for the younger one(s). I’ve also noticed that my partner is more excited now that we’re planning on raising a boy instead of wondering if he’ll have two girls to be overly protective of
.
Comment by Talen on Jan 24 2012 03:51:05:
Im a single women pregnant with my first child. When I found out I was having a boy I was terrified! I knew how to talk to a girl about periods and sex and all that junk, but how was I supposed to know how to tell a boy about his version of puberty??? I now only have 6 weeks left and I’m still a little worried but having enlisted the help of my parents and friends I’ve figured out a few things to help me along the way. Don’t try to figure it out on your own, it’s just an extra stressful burdon that isn’t needed. Besides wether it’s a boy or girl you get your own little miracle!
good luck