"Before the baby is born, everyone says, 'Sleep now, because you won't ever sleep
again.' Annoying as this advice is, it's true. For several weeks, sleep is
irregular and random. Don't expect to get any straight hours unless you tag-team
with your partner."
- Robin Vitetta-Miller, mother of Kyle,
2 1/2, and Luke, 13 months, and a nutritionist in Scottsdale, Ariz.
"Between the sleep and shower deprivation, and the off-kilter hormones, I was in
a constant daze. My favorite part of the day would be when the babysitter walked
in and I could hand the baby to her so I could take a shower. Pure
bliss."
- Patricia K. Meyer, mother of 9-year-old Joey and a film professor in Los Angeles
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Nothing can quite prepare you for your first weeks of parenthood. But the tips we offer here will make them go a lot more smoothly.
See a Breastfeeding Expert
"At first I felt de-feminized when I didn't
produce the gallons of breast milk my nursing girlfriends claimed to put forth,
but I was relieved when my hubby could do the 3:30 a.m. feeding." - Patricia K.
Meyer, mother of 9-year-old Joey and a film professor in Los Angeles
"One of the biggest challenges for new mothers is nursing," says Ruth Shaber,
M.D., director of Women's Health Services at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland,
Calif., who knows from personal and professional experience. "After the birth of
my daughter," she remembers, "one nurse told me, 'Nursing is like a dance, and
you have two new partners.'"
Brian Bear, M.D., urges women to consult a lactation specialist while still in
the hospital. "For first-time moms, it can be overwhelming," says Bear, an OB/GYN
in private practice in Wauwatosa, Wis. "You're waiting for your milk to come in,
and you're worried the baby must be hungry." Consult the hospital's lactation
specialist to learn what you and your baby need. (Some insurance companies will
even reimburse you for an in-home visit with a private lactation consultant.
Visit lalecheleague.org for more information.)
Bear in mind that you are not a failure if breastfeeding is difficult for you and
that there is no shame in supplementing with formula. And be heartened by this:
"Nursing is a skill that both mother and baby get better at," Shaber says.
Plan Your Sleep
"In my sleep-deprived distractedness, I took my
2-year-old daughter's hand and walked out the door. Her preschool teacher ran
after us, asking, 'Aren't you forgetting something?' Ah, yes. My newborn daughter
in the car seat still in the classroom."
- Carolyn Armistead, mother of
Nicolle, 18, and Cori, 16, and a writer in Carlisle, Mass.
Women underestimate the effects of fatigue. When you combine sleep deprivation
with the physical demands of caring for an infant, the resulting exhaustion can
be debilitating. "Extreme fatigue can cause an inability to cope with situations
you normally would be able to," explains Bear. Every expert and mom we talked to
emphasized this strategy: Sleep when your baby sleeps! Shower or do anything else
another time.
You may even want to arrange your sleeping assignments before the baby comes
home. "Put a daybed in the nursery or put the bassinet next to your bed," advises
Dell. "Once the baby is established in the house, no two adults should be up with
him or her." A suggestion: If your partner is on night-feeding duty, get him to
wear your robe as he gives your child a bottle. "Babies are very odor-sensitive,"
says Dell. They'll smell breast milk on clothing, and the familiar smell will
help them to be more accepting of someone else feeding them.
To help fight the fatigue that comes with sleep-deprivation, light exercise can
provide a much-needed energy boost. "Use a stroller and take walks outside,"
advises Shaber. "You won't do your baby a service by keeping him
cloistered - especially if you're breastfeeding, because the baby will have your
immunity anyway." An added bonus: A stroll around the neighborhood will burn
calories, hastening your return to pre-pregnancy weight.
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