Breastfeeding: What Nobody Tells You
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From the featured blog, The Southern Belle Baby
Ah, breastfeeding. We’ve all heard how great it is for the baby, what a great bond it creates and how EVERYONE should do it. However. No one tells you what breastfeeding actually entails. You don’t hear about the massive leaks, raw nipples, supply woes or amount of time you’ll spend hooked up to a pump like a dairy cow. Well, I am not a fan of keeping people in the dark, so I’m here to tell you the truth: breastfeeding is not glamorous.
Truth #1: In the beginning… Ow, ow, ow.
The first few days, your boobs will rival those of a really trashy porn star. We’re talking huge, hard as a brick and painful. Your little squirt will barely be able to get his mouth around these spherical boobs, but don’t worry. The engorgement will subside, and you’ll be able to fit into normal human size bras again.
Truth #2: Your boobs will rival a super soaker.
It’s feeding time, and your unsuspecting baby opens his mouth, looking for some food. You whip out your boob and douse the poor thing with your high-powered milk spray. Who knew you could get such distance with breast milk??
Truth #3: Laundry will multiply.
Not because the baby throws up or poops out of his diaper, but because you drip all over him at every turn. Time to eat? Time to change the outfit. It’s pretty much a guarantee. Especially if he’s crying- your boobs are hardwired to expel milk when he yelps, and generally, that means that cute little onesie gets it.
Truth #4: Taking a shower becomes painful.
Especially in the beginning, your nipples are going to hurt. Mine got completely raw to the point where standing under the spray of the shower felt like tiny needles hitting my ravaged nipplar region. Of course, I attribute much of this to my son’s pit bull-type latch. When he’s done, he doesn’t open his mouth and move on. He tightens his grip and thrashes his head around like a lion ripping meat from its prey. In a word: ouch.
Truth #5: Sometimes, your boobs shrink.
One morning, I woke up, and my boobs were half the size they had been the day before. I had a lazy eater on my hands that needed constant stimulation while nursing or… my body thought he didn’t need as much. This led to me pumping after every single feeding to make sure both breasts were empty in order to tell my brain “Hey! Make more milk!” These marathon-pumping sessions made me think I ought to change my name to Bessie and wear a cowbell around my neck.
Truth #6: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Despite all of the troubles breastfeeding can cause, it IS the best thing for the baby, it DOES create a great bond and you SHOULD try it. The moments when I breast feed my son are my favorite times of the day (remind me of this at 3 a.m.). That bright little face looking up at me makes up for the problems I may face along the way. It’s definitely not easy, as “natural” as it may be, but it’s well worth it. And that’s the truth.
Need a little boost of new-mom confidence? Here's our feel good after pregnancy guide 
Comment by Kitmao on Mar 17 2010 06:58:39:
Ha ha, what a funny article, but also – OUCH! I’m glad I read this though, because my mom has told me all kinds of horror stories and its good to read the same thing here so I know she’s not just trying to scare me
. I prefer not going into this thinking its going to be something its not.
My nephew was put on formula from the beginning, which is something I don’t really agree with (but not my child, so not my place to say). I’ve gotten the chance to hold him and feed him and just looking at his precious little eyes staring up at me makes me think of how that bond is going to be after our baby is born. I can believe it will be worth all the nasty/painful/annoying aspects of breastfeeding. Or at least I’m going to keep telling myself this!!
Comment by Carrie on Mar 17 2010 07:08:24:
Pumping yes…pain, leaking, squirting, laundry, needle-like showers…NO! I would never have believed that “every pregnancy is different” – but it’s true just as is your individual children to your breast and each woman’s experience. Not everyone believes in co-sleeping – but w/ my daughter I nursed and co-slept. I never got out of bed or a bottle or crying baby – she never needed nite time changes – talk about ZERO sleep deprivation! And convenience – no formula/bottles to tote around…and her latch was heavenly – no pain (ok I did get bit twice in a year) – there was very little as pleasurable as nursing my child. I pregnant now and can’t wait to feed my little one…I can just hope that my experience is as enjoyable.
Comment by AnnieD on Mar 17 2010 07:35:15:
Yup, yup, and yup. With my 1st one I had a few of those problems, with the 2nd one, all of those problems. But as with all side effects of creating and raising kids, these are temporary and completely worth it. Eventually looking like a porn star turns into looking like you just have a nice rack, and all that sucking baby does will eventually suck those extra lbs off. But you do have to put in the time. Right around 6 months with both of mine is when the breastfeeding started to make a difference in my waistline. And those middle of the night feedings are the ones I cherish. No dogs/big brothers/husbands interrupting; just me and my baby sitting together quietly.
Comment by Crystal on Mar 17 2010 08:19:45:
Im due in July and this will be my first well kinda my first time ( I tried to breastfeed my oldest but it lasted all of 2 days) But I am willing to try again and give it my all. Thank you for the article I love it when people tell it how it really is and not sugar coat it. Now I know what to be prepared for and know Im not alone in the joys and ouches of breastfeeding.
Comment by Orlando_Mom on Mar 17 2010 09:38:58:
Good job in this article everything is so accurate. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing we(moms) need to have patience as it does take time. My daughter is 20 months I’m still breastfeeding, hoping to stop soon, she has only gotten sick once with minor cold.
Comment by Vilda on Mar 17 2010 10:38:13:
I totally agree!!!! My baby is now 2 months and I’ve been breastfeeding her after some milk supply issues in the beginning. But let me you, I was bitter in the beginning because every one pushed to breastfeed (trust me, I’m glad I’m doing it), but just because it is so great for baby and nobody ever mentioned the tough parts of it!!! It was very very frustrating in the beginning and even sometimes it still is when I am just beyond exhausted (I don’t do well taking naps when baby naps, especially when baby only naps on me! or another human but usually I’m the only one around) and need to whip out the boob to feed! Anyway, I’m happy but just glad that finally someone put something out there about the not so pretty things about breastfeeding, even if only temporarily…
Comment by megan on Mar 18 2010 02:40:42:
this made me laugh, because it is it funny the things people don’t tell you. The first few days hurt for me because your milk doesn’t come in right away and she was latching on wrong…. make sure you get it right before you leave the hospital!! It shouldn’t hurt that much! And the funniest is right when your milk lets down and your baby pulls away because it is coming to fast and you look at her and she has milk all over her poor little face! But it does make me feel like I am doing something very good for her and love the bond and the comfort she gets out of it! Good for you all for sticking with it and think how much it is doing for our babies!!
Comment by becky on Mar 18 2010 02:36:06:
I had very few problems… mild soreness only, not terrible engorgement (frequent nursing early on helps) I did have lots of leaking, but it slows down & you learn ways to deal with it (LOTS of washable pads at night were absolutely necessary).
What I did not like was at a few weeks old my son would really cry after a few minutes of nursing; it was awful! As it turns out he was very sensitive to dairy in my diet. No one warned me of issues with what I ate. I cut out all dairy for a few months, until his system could handle some gas (really). Now we are good -still nursing at 10 months. Also know that nursing lowers your risk of breast cancer greatly.
Good for baby AND good for you so hang in there!!
Comment by Joanie Betsinger on Mar 18 2010 02:39:32:
As a lactation consultant my heart went out to you. It sounds like you did not have a good experience. It is too bad (and too late) for you to take the breastfeeding teaching that is offered thru almost every hospital and usually in or near every community. Engorgement does NOT have to happen! Feeling full when your milk “comes in” on day 3-5 is normal – Engorgement is NOT normal. Offering skin to skin immediately after birth and bringing the baby to breast with gentle assistance within an hour, frequent (every 1-2 hours the first few days) nursing sessions with a correct latch (nipples may be a little tender, but not painfully sore using a correct latch) is the manner to nurse without the painful breasts and nipples. After the 1st few weeks, there should not be that kind of abundance of milk. If your baby is eating every 1-3 hours round the clock (a minimum of 10-12 times per day), your body should make what the baby needs, without excess. Only when I put off a feeding, did I have such a forceful milk supply. I felt saddened when I read the words “nasty”, “painful” and “annoying” in association with breastfeeding. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I remember the first 3 weeks as challenging and exhausting, but the next 8 months as truly wonderful. My second was a breeze with the first 3 weeks great too, because I had a lot more education and experience. I had no engorgement nor sore nipples.
Comment by Jessica on Mar 18 2010 02:59:13:
Joanie, I am the author of the blog entry, and I did actually get help from two fabulous lactation consultants (with many of the issues I was talking about here!). They were able to assist me and teach me to do things the right way, and in no time at all I was LOVING breast feeding! (Although, I actually still loved it amidst all the troubles in the beginning… even though I thought my nipples would fall off!) We were in the hospital for a week because my son was in the NICU, and they sat in the nursery with me and showed me all their tips and tricks- so worth it! People like you help make breast feeding a positive experience! Thanks for what you do!
Comment by Laura on Mar 19 2010 02:45:32:
okay, so I breastfed both my kids exclusively, the first for 7 months and the second for 5 months. would have gone for longer, but something just doesn’t work right – not enough stimulation or who knows. the result was just not enough milk coming out. no leaking at all, breasts really round and full before, a little deflated after. the most i could ever produce by pumping was 4oz, combined from both breasts. my daughter gained less than 5lbs in her first 6 months, thank goodness she started out big. once i finally got her to take a bottle at 7 months, she self-weaned in less than 2 weeks; my son weaned himself the same way. once they stopped breastfeeding, my milk dried up essentially immediately.
i don’t write all this just to share a bad breastfeeding story, because I wouldn’t have changed a thing (except my daughter being hungry and not knowing it). what i do want to say is that only one of the 7 or 8 different “lactation consultants” who came unbidden to “teach” me how to breastfeed didn’t make me feel like it was all my fault. from telling me how wrong the way i was holding my 10lb 6oz newborn to physically forcing my hands to the “correct” position for who knows what convoluted thing they were trying to get me to do to pushing me to pump when it was obviously not working – all they did was drive me crazy and get me so wound up that i was a nervous wreck. each one seemed to say something different, which was different than even what the nurses said.
just remember – you don’t have to listen to anyone if what they’re saying doesn’t make sense or makes you uncomfortable. I may never have been able to breastfeed as successfully as i wanted, but i am convinced that i would have been more successful without the uninvited interference and “advice” of those totally well-intentioned women.
Comment by chelsea on Mar 19 2010 09:05:48:
I love breastfeeding it has been a wonderful experience for my baby and i .. i was told that its the healthest thing for her .. about a month after she was born i started to get really sick i had fevers that were getting up to 103. my baby couldnt nurse cause my body was just to hot it took about a week and a half for the drs and nurses to realize that my breast were infected something i never would of thought that could happen there are some minor downfalls in breastfeeding but when it comes to it its the most important thing for your baby to have
Comment by jessica on Mar 25 2010 07:55:43:
I really hate that this was allowed to be posted because breastfeeding is so good for you little one. There are WAY to many women out there who won’t even try to breastfeed, and it’s because of post like this. It discourages them and makes them feel like they’re more important than the wellfare of their child.
Comment by Gabrielle on Apr 05 2010 05:41:35:
Okay, can I just start out by making a comment on “jessica’s” post. If a post like this one detures a mother from breast feeding then that mother was looking to be talked out of it in the first place. There is way to much information out there anymore for a post like this one to make any impact but one of humor and honesty. I nursed my daughter and she ate like the little piggies do, so much in fact my breasts got open soars on them for a few weeks. Not only was I in pain but I was TIRED. She had colic and the only thing that calmed her down was nursing, so she nursed quite often. Truth is though, I would not trade it for anything. Sitting in the nursery at 3 a.m. with a the soft glow of the nightlight, soft hum of clasical music on the radio, rocking her, her twirling my hair in her fingers as I stared into her big loving blue eyes was the BEST bonding moment and memory I have. I am now, 16 years later, preg. with my second daughter and I had NO second thoughts of nursing this one as well.
To everyone else…..Since it has been so long since I nursed my last baby there seems to be a TON of new items for breast feeding mothers. Has anyone tried out the silicone “petals” for your breasts that are supposed to keep milk from leaking at all?? Has anyone tried out “milkies”? Do they really catch any leaking milk? Thanks for any/everyones input!!
Comment by Jennifer (Resident Mom) on Apr 06 2010 05:24:02:
I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd child. I nursed my now 4 year old son for the first 15 months of his life. I have to say that I never had any of the problems mentioned in this article. So I hope it doesn’t scare potential breastfeeders away. Yes, my boobs were sometimes engorged to the point of feeling like marble, but it didn’t hurt. And the leaking was really not a big deal, it wasn’t all that bad except at night when I wore pads in my bra. I found nursing to be quite easy and so convenient compared to my non-nursing friends. I couldn’t believe the work involved in getting a bottle ready… sheeesh. I also never pumped and never used a bottle. I can’t wait to nurse my new baby!
Comment by Tatiana on Aug 07 2010 08:42:42:
I am currently breastfeeding my soon to be one year old daughter. She turns one in 11 days. I hate the pumping, love the breastfeeding. I also bought a hospital grade pump because I plan on breastfeeding until my daughter decides no more…… hope that is not for a while….. It is the best form of bonding!!!! But the pump is not nearly as efficient. My daughter is not feeling well today and the ONLY thing that comforts her is nursing
She currently is sleeping on a pillow in front of me. I also co-sleep with my daughter, my husband gripes, but that will not change anything and I WILL NOT change the sleeping arrangement, sorry honey. Breast feeding is the best for our children. If someone chooses not too, that is their choice. I tell people that I plan to go as long as my little lady desires, I get all sorts of weird looks, oh well- my choice.Oh, Happy World Breastfeeding month. GOOd luck to all you new moms thinking about breastfeeding. It is not always easy or painless….but well worth it.
Comment by Emily on Mar 10 2011 12:03:36:
Other than the final Truth I think they are all quite exaggerated. Yes they do all occur but within a short time all of those “problems” are gone.. and no you don’t need to pump to increase your supply.. just breastfeed – naturally – like humans and other mammals have been doing for millions of years. I havn’t pumped once – my breast have become what the writer calls “shrivelled” and my daughter is still growing and growing and growing (now 11 months) and just because my breasts don’t feel FULL anymore doesn’t mean she isn’t getting more than enough milk. I never had a problem with leaking other than RIGHT at the beginning – honestly if you don’t have to don’t pump it messes up your supply.
Comment by Busy Mom on Aug 25 2011 10:29:13:
Love it! This made me laugh, so true! One new product I wish I had when I was breastfeeding my daughters is the new Undercover Mama Nursing Top that makes ANY shirt a nursing shirt. I hated having to buy a whole maternity wardrobe for nursing. It’s a bummer. Next time I’m using Undercover Mama!