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Tips for making the transition to parenthood just a little bit smoother
Most days, being Alec's mother is Jen Jordan's biggest joy. "It's really hard to
stop kissing his little cheeks," she confides. But Jordan recalls one day five
weeks after Alec was born. His adorable, pudgy face turned beet red and his mouth
opened wide as he began three hours of wailing. "I started crying because I
couldn't stand seeing him in pain," she recalls. "When my husband came home and
found us, he told me to take a break. I left and seriously considered going to
Hawaii for a couple of weeks."
Thus is the dichotomy of new parenthood: We all know it's a miracle and a
long-awaited joy. So we're stunned to find ourselves wondering at times if it was
also our worst mistake ever. Few of us are prepared for the tumult of emotions
that come crashing upon us, including the realization that we're not only
responsible for a helpless infant 24 hours a day but may also never regain
control of our own lives. Add exhaustion, fickle hormones and sometimes a
shell-shocked spouse, and it's not surprising some new parents liken their baby's
first months to war. "There can be a real distinction between the impression
people are given and the reality - particularly since motherhood, apple pie and the
flag are three things you can't say anything bad about," says David Shane, Ph.D.,
a clinical psychologist and father in San Antonio. "New parenthood requires just
as much adjustment as a new job," he says. "It usually takes 12 to 18 months, and
that assumes the new boss is 'rational.' If the 'boss' isn't, as in this case, it
could take two years."
Fortunately, there are time-honored methods for coping with the transition to
parenthood. The following tips from parents and therapists are designed to help
address some of the most common issues.
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