Having Two Kids Under 2
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by: Tesa
The challenges of having two kids under 2
- The difficulty of carrying around one baby while pregnant with another.
- Changing diapers while dealing with morning sickness.
- Not getting near enough sleep during the second pregnancy because I was up at night with my oldest.
- I battled pre-term contractions daily for two months simply because my body wasn’t ready to have one baby right after the next.
- I was so exhausted from being pregnant and so busy with my daughter that I didn’t get the chance to enjoy the second pregnancy as much as the first. I had to remind myself to stop and feel my son’s movements and kicks.
Staying Connected to Friends Without Kids..here's how to keep those post-baby bonds 
Comment by Kendall on Mar 09 2010 12:26:56:
I have two daughters, 13 months apart. My oldest was just 4 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. We didn’t “plan” it that way, but we didn’t prevent it from happening either. They are now almost 3 and almost 4 and it’s SO nice! The first year is tough. The second year is easier and after that it’s a breeze! I now have three kids and if I thought my body could handle another pregnancy right now(my youngest is 3 months), I’d start planning our 4th!
Comment by Te on Mar 09 2010 12:42:31:
I am also a mom of children who were born close, very close. My son was born Feb. 14, 2004, my daughter
Jan. 21, 2005. They are about 11 1/2 months apart! I had the same reactions, when people found out I was pregnant. It was very hard when they were little, a had to buy a double stroller. Now that they are 5 and 6, it
is getting easier. I also have a 2 1/2 year old boy. I like seeing my children play together, sometimes they fight over the same toy, but it doesn’t last long. It’s nice when they are close in age, because they enjoy many of the same toys and places we go. It is work, but so worth it!
Comment by Stay-at-home Mama of 2 on Mar 09 2010 12:51:33:
This story rang so true for me. I have 2 daughters who are 14 months apart as well. It was tough in the beginning but so worth it! My girls are now 2 & 3 years old & best friends. It is so fun watching them take care of each other & love each other with such a close bond. Even though it may have been (and still is!) crazy at times, I tell everyone that it was the best decision we ever made!
Comment by Deb on Mar 09 2010 01:34:02:
My son and daughter are just 13 months apart and about to turn 2 and 3, so we’re on the tail end of the really grueling part. Getting in and out of the car was a huge challenge (hint: park near the cart corral), as was (and is) the possibility of getting in over my head when out with them alone. Despite all of the challenges, the nonstop work is completely worth it to watch them interact and grow up together.
Comment by Jenelle on Mar 09 2010 01:41:50:
I can relate to this article. I am 27 years old and have five children ages 1,2, 3, 4, and 9 years old. My 3 and 4 year old daughters are only nine and a half months apart. I was in college during the four of my pregnancies, and was a stay at home mom when I was not in school. I had my last baby a few months after I finished my master’s degree. I experienced so much negativity from other people (mostly from strangers and my professors) about having children so close in age. My husband is a firefighter and works a second job, so now the majority of the parenting responsibility is mine. It seems to be very difficult at times, especially when I am at the gorcery store trying to pick up some groceries with all of the children. Sometimes I have to drive around the parking lot for 10 or 20 minutes just to find one of those extra large child-friendly carts. It can be tough when they all want the same thing at the same time as well. However, I do find it to be extremely rewarding to watch my children grow up together and to see how close they are. I find it to be quite a positive experience to be a mother of five children that are all so close in age.
Comment by Courtney on Mar 09 2010 06:27:37:
i have 3 girls my oldest is 2 years and 2 months older then her twin sisters. having twins was hard in the first few months but oldest was a great deal of help with entertaining one while i was changing or feeding the other. and now they are almost 4 and 2 they are eachothers best friends they love playing together and watch a lot of the same shows together and play the same toys together which is nice
Comment by becky on Mar 09 2010 07:45:42:
Great article! Thanks for the advice. We are trying for baby #2, our first is 9 months old.
Comment by Monica on Mar 10 2010 05:02:25:
It’s good to know that it gets easier when they grow up!!!! I have 28 months triplets boys and now is very difficult because I feel like they are everywhere, touching everything and getting in trouble all the time. But to see the bond between them and how much they love each other is worth it. Still I would love to have a little, tiny, minimun me time…any day soon.
Comment by MrsM on Mar 11 2010 05:12:50:
Our youngest two are 14 months apart and I have also BEEN the close sibling (my sister and I are 12 months and 4 days apart) and I feel that I have to say for the sake of balance that having kids that close does NOT mean they will like each other, or will like the same things, or will be friends, or will not fight. Really, it doesn’t. My sister and I had knock down-drag out-no holds barred fist fights from the time we were toddlers. We HATED having to watch the same shows, HATED always having to have the same friends, HATED people thinking we were twins, HATED always having to play with each other…We hated each other and barely spoke until we both had children of our own, and now we only have a (mostly) civil relationship.
All of my children get along fantastically. Really I can count on one hand the number of times they’ve had anything even approximating the fights between my sister and I, but I think it is misleading to imply that just because you have kids close together they will be “best friends”-it really depends on the kids’ personalities, not their ages.
Comment by Debbie on Mar 12 2010 01:41:59:
Wonderful article Tesa! Thanks for sharing your experience!
Comment by Linsi on Mar 14 2010 03:23:31:
You guys are nuts, do you not love yourselves? Aren’t you tired of being big bellied and acid refluxes? What about me times? I am not critizising you guys, just trying to understand the concept behind it. I only have one baby now and I am so overwhelmed, I have to entertain her, feed her, teach her things,etc., and find me time. I understand that it is rewarding once they are older, but what about your bodies, don’t you guys enjoy having your girlish bodies back for a while? I certainly do and I also love spoiling my only child so far. Have you thought about how to pay for their college education? Well, as long as it makes you guys happy it’s fine.
Comment by Tésa on Mar 14 2010 06:13:12:
I just want to step in here and say thanks for all the comments. You’ve all presented both sides of the coin, which I think is important.
One thing to keep in mind when commenting is there are expectant mothers reading this who may be feeling a bit of stress and worry at the thought of raising 2 under 2. Even if you feel passionate about this topic, please reflect on the harshness of your comment before you hit submit. Attempting to scare the pants off someone doesn’t get us as mothers anywhere. If you have advice to offer then feel free to do so.
I respect any and all opinions on this subject, because I realize all families are different and I hope you all as readers do too.
Comment by Linsi on Mar 15 2010 03:11:29:
I just want to reflect on the comment Tesa made. If moms cannot accept the harshness of any comments then they are better off not to raise two under two. Reality is gonna sink in and are a lot harsher than comments. I think that if you can afford to have a nanny or have a relative who can help you raise them your life will be easier. And I agree with one of the comments that it is misleading that the two kids close to age will be best friends. There are no guarantees that they will. Although we are collective beings, each kid needs individual attention while growing up instead of sharingif with a sibling. That would imply that all kids are the same, but they are not. I think there are a lot to think about before having two under two. And college funds are the real issues in the States and only 10% of the nation are college graduates. Compared to Europe where colleges are free, this number is pretty low. I don’t know about you, but I prefer to plan my things out before I do them. I am not saying that those who don’t have a college degree aren’t smart, they are very, look at Bill Gates who is a college drop off, but at the same time, not everyone is Bill Gates. I don’t know about you moms out there, but I think that every child deserves to receive a good education and if you spaced the ages of your kids out a little, you wouldn’t have to worry so much financially for their education costs and they do get expensive.
Comment by Kendall on Mar 17 2010 02:16:59:
I agree that children close in age may not get along, but that’s also true of children that are spaced out. I have 5 brothers and 1 sister, all younger than me. I get along okay with them all, but one of my brothers, he is about 5 years younger than myself, and I did NOT get along at all when growing up!
There are many ways to fund a college education, including but not limited to grants, scholarships, loans, and working while in school. It’s not easy, but it IS doable. The child, should they have motivation enough and support, can actually fund their way through college by themselves putting minimal financial strain on the parents. Even if there are several going to school at the same time!
There’s good and bad with having kids close together, but also spaced apart. I have to work really hard to remind myself that my two that are 13 months apart ARE individuals and that I can’t expect the younger one to do what the older one does. I have to try hard not to push the younger too hard and not to hold the older one back and also not to compare the two of them. They ARE different people and if you can remember that…you’ll be fine and they *shouldn’t* hate each other!
Comment by Linsi on Mar 19 2010 03:49:45:
Hmmm, I don’t know about kids having student loans. The idea is to give them a debt free head start, at least that’s how I view it. I never had student loans and there are a few that I know of who have them. My parents paid for all of my education and it is nice not to have any debt so you get a head start in life financially.
Comment by lilla on Aug 24 2010 02:29:24:
I just wanted to say that it is not right to assume that people with two children under two will not be able to pay for their education. My husband and I are expecting our second in January, and our first was born last October. They will be 15 months apart. I am a SAHM (by choice, I wanted to be there to raise my children) with a college degree, and he has a very high paying job, and we have been saving for our kids education since before we decided to start trying for them. That being said, however, my parents had NOTHING saved for my education and even refused to cosign any kind of loans for it. I had to work hard for everything I have, and it was well worth it. I used to resent them for not even trying to help me with the enormous debt I was getting myself into, but now I realize it was for the best. I changed my major 3 times, took a couple of semesters off, partied my way through my freshman year, and basically ran up a bunch of debt that I didn’t need to. I am glad that my parents weren’t paying their hard earned money for my fun and ridiculousness. Eventually I decided I needed to get serious and I did, but I don’t agree that every parent needs to pay for their kids until they are out of college. And there is nothing wrong with student loans, what of those parents who have the means to be paying for their kids education when they have them, but somewhere in those 18 years before college they lose their job, get injured, can’t work, etc.
Comment by Teresa on Nov 12 2010 12:49:30:
I have a 17 mth old and due for my next one in march 2011 they will be 22 mtgs apart and our second wasn’t planned we only can afford one I’m worried all the time my first is an angel I’m scared that’s gonna change when his brother is born. Some of that writing kinds scares me
Comment by priya on Apr 30 2011 03:53:58:
i am 30 years old and have two kids. First is girl and now she is 2 year and 2 months old. Second is a boy baby and he is only 1 month old. I think that my daughter is little jealous and she is beating the little one when she got a chance. I m little afraid and tension with my daughters character
Comment by Renee on May 21 2011 01:26:28:
I just wanted to comment that you don’t have to have close in age for them to have a special bond. My daughter is almost 7, and my son just turned 1. They love each other!
Still, I’ll probably have #3 a little sooner because, as you said, I can get the baby stuff over with faster.
Comment by Nina on Jul 27 2011 08:59:17:
Thank you!!!!!!! I have 2 under 2- one is 19 months, one is 4 months, and it is amazing to hear that it will get easier!!!! Thankfully they are both on a good sleeping schedule now, but I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to leave the house with both by myself. I appreciate your article a lot- you gave me peace of mind.
Comment by Christina on Oct 01 2011 09:07:25:
I came across this site this evening and have read each and every post. Let me say first that I am a stay at home mom to 2 very great boys 16 months and 4 months, that’s right.. my oldest was born June 8 2010 and my youngest June 2 2011:) I have to say that yes it is incredibly hard but at the end of the day I wouldn’t change a thing. It is such a rewarding experience and I can already see the love they have for one another! To Linsi… I love myself.. I love myself SO much that I am willing to give up some girly looks and GIVE myself more love and happiness from these boys than I could EVER deserve! I’m not saying it’s a piece of cake, there are days that I sit there and cry or just want to shut the door, crawl under the sheets LOL but again I woulnd’t have it any other way!! You can have your opinion but until you actually ARE a mom of 2 you cannot possibly understand. I thought having one was hard.. bahahaha… I also thought having just one was enough…..you never know the plans God has for you:)
Comment by Natasha on Jan 07 2012 05:42:03:
I have to say that all of these negative comments really are quite nasty. I don’t understand why people feel the need to ‘have a say’ about topics that are DESIGNED to be informative and helpful to expectant mothers. Yes, there are two sides to every story however there are other ways to get a point across, rather than attacking someone for their own experience on an issue. When did the world become so pessimistic? Is nothing sacred anymore? For all those mums who are expecting or already have two children under the age of two, enjoy this precious time in your life and make the most of it. Don’t rely too heavily on other people’s experiences. What will be will be and you just might surprise yourself at how well you adapt. Now, wouldn’t that be lovely?
Comment by Caitlin on Jan 20 2012 04:22:27:
I agree with Lilla. Parents shouldn’t have to pay for an entire university education. A little debt helps with motivation and work ethic – and reality. I’m not rich, but I’m thrifty and sensible and I hope my kids learn from this. I have a nearly 11 month old boy and I’m hoping to be pregnant any month now! And to be honest, I’m thinking about ME. I’ve had great success with breastfeeding and will continue for as long as possible. I weigh less than I did before I had my son. And I’m already in sleep-deprived babyland so why not stay there! Plus, I’ll be able to take a couple online courses to boost my brain and be back in the work force in a handful of years – rather than working, mat leave, working, mat leave. I’m nervous, sure, but I’m more excited!
Comment by Dalia on Feb 15 2012 02:16:52:
Thank you Tesa for a wonderful article. I am a foster parent of an infant and trying to have a bio baby as well. It is a selfless act for all of you mothers to give so much of yourselves to raising beautiful babies.
Linsi – you’re a self-absorbed spoiled brat. You care more about your girlish figure than the well-being of your child. Perhaps if you had been pushed to support yourself through college you might have learned to appreciate the act of giving, not just taking. A good head start in life mean more than money.
Comment by Heather Pasley on Feb 29 2012 11:36:37:
thanks for this. i havd an 8 and 4 and 1 yr old with another surprise due in may. scared to death. glad to hear there is hope.
Comment by Brenda Tyree Gavin on Feb 29 2012 11:50:34:
Congrats! I think. I had 3 in 3 1/2 years and it almost killed me.
Comment by Karen Nelson on Mar 01 2012 12:15:26:
Shout out if you need any help! Really. You have peeps with hands ready to provide support.
Comment by Haley Meier on Mar 01 2012 12:41:19:
Mine are 15 months apart. I have to say that this article is encouraging that if it is difficult, it gets easier. I also want to encourage you that it isn't always horrible. My oldest is 2.5 and my daughter is 15 months. This last season has been a beautiful one for me. I love these kiddos and love the age difference. Sure, there are logistical challenges of having to carry both out to the car, not fitting both in a cart at most stores (love Costco!) and having to work around 2 nap schedules. Honestly, though, I think you'll handle it better than most because you've already had 3! You're a pro, whether or not you feel like it, and you have wonderful helpers in this journey! Chin up! There will be crazy days, but it doesn't have to be an entirely doomed first 2 years!
Comment by Kim McClellan on Mar 01 2012 01:11:58:
Heather, Congratulations on the prospect of another new addition. If anyone can be great at being a Mum of 4, it's you. Never doubt how blessed your beautiful babes are to have you as their Mum.
Comment by Heather Pasley on Mar 01 2012 04:41:36:
This wasn't actually supposed to be posted to facebook for all to see. Darn you Zuckerberg and your omnipresent minions. Thanks for the support though everyone.
Comment by Heather Pasley on Mar 01 2012 04:43:45:
I actually came upon the above blog when I was looking up carseat solutions…Any ideas? I would like to snap in the infant whilst being able to stroll the toddler. The four year old and eight year old are on their own. Might go ahead and teach Kenna to drive. if a cop pulls her over, I can plead insanity. THoughts?
Comment by Barbara Bowser-Smith on Mar 01 2012 10:40:21:
Heather, you will do great. I had 4 in 5 yrs and 6 in 9 and I'm here to tell you about it. God always provides, good family and friends will help as will your older girls. Angie was only 5 when Ray was born and she was a great little mother. Know my prayers are with you.
Comment by Haley Meier on Mar 01 2012 11:02:44:
We had the graco infant seat that snaps in and out of car and stroller. Then, our older had a convertible that was easy to get him in and out of. The stroller we have is the Graco double. Expensive, but I love it. Super easy to fold up/set up (one handed) and Was the only one that fit in my trunk. I've heard the sit and stand ones are great, too, but I wanted the option of strapping the older in.
my suggestion: test them out at BRU. You'll get a feel for which you're willing to do over and over. 
Feel free to test-drive mine anytime!
Comment by Sara McKusick on Mar 31 2012 08:12:26:
Thanks! I needed to hear this! I've got a 22 month old and a 4 month old. They are both amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world, but it's definitely challenging! The hardest thing for me is taking them in public when I'm by myself. The article was really helpful!
Comment by Siobhan Kinnaird on Mar 31 2012 02:04:31:
24 months and due in 6 weeks…
Comment by Brook Bevier-polfer on Mar 31 2012 03:12:40:
Ha try, 4, 22months and 4 months, leaving the house is a mission, don't worry Sara you will get used to it. Love ya
Comment by Allison Brennan on Mar 31 2012 03:53:23:
so as i read your post, all i could think about was how i feel the same way, only i think this about my 2 dogs lol not children, and they are 5 and 6…… hahahahaha anyway made me laugh!!!! miss you sweetie…..hope you and the fam are doing well
Comment by Arminda Royster on Mar 31 2012 04:11:03:
It was definitely hard for the first 9 years for me. My older two were 16 months apart and very different personalities. The second child being a boy made it hard on the older girl. Now though, she's in 6th grade and he's in 4th and they have a lot of the same friends and they do so much together it's super awesome. I love watching them take silly pictures on her cell phone or look at youtube videos together and they compliment each other a lot. I think it's one of the most amazing things, to have a close relationship with your sibling.
Comment by Tomalin Bailie on Mar 31 2012 10:42:03:
Going into public is hard. I rate everything on how much I might sweat. Too much sweat = not doing it.
Comment by Juliana Arboleda on Apr 08 2012 08:18:36:
It's tough but it will be SO worth it once they are a little older, so close in age…that's awesome!!
Comment by Catie Frantz on Apr 11 2012 03:25:19:
10 month girl and 5 months pregnant.
I needed this! Good tips! I am making a list of "musts" for our house too… It's going to be crazy, but I can handle it!
Comment by Christell Puga on May 15 2012 07:13:17:
3 year and 3 months, 1 year and 9 months and 5 months pregnant. Life couldn't be busier or funner! Cant wait for baby #3 to arrive
Comment by Rashelle Kepner on Jun 19 2012 12:28:13:
I want to say I was feeling quite guilty at moments about being pregnant again so soob after having my first child. I felt as though I was cheating her out of her baby years alone with me. After reading the last paragraph of this artical I feel slightly better. I never thought of having a sibling for her would give her a life long best friend. I thank you for writing that and making feel much better about this pregnancy.
Comment by Chrystal Sneddon on Jul 31 2012 06:19:19:
My Kids are 1yr and 5 days apart maybe 2 weeks apart! Unplanned. I had BC but it failed. I could not be more stressed or more busy! This was much needed but every time I take time for myself I feel so guilty!
Comment by Jackie Parrish Barker on Nov 15 2012 08:34:35:
Thanks for the article! I felt a great guilt when my son was 5 months old and I learned I was expecting again. My daughter came 6 1/2 weeks early and so now for 8 days a year they are the same age. Right now they are 20 months and 8 months. Luckily, I have a 7 year old daughter that helps me out greatly!