In Defense of Bad Baby Names
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By Lyz Lenz
While the rest of the internet was fussing about how Natalie Portman gave her son Aleph a “weird celebrity baby name,” I didn’t bat an eye. Let her name her baby “Lettuce” for all I care. I’m done judging baby names.
Last year, I would have been all over the baby name judgment. I remember telling my husband, “Ugh. You cannot be a supreme court justice named Apple.” But today, I barely even flinch when I hear that the Victoria and David Beckham named their daughter after a number. So, what changed? I had a baby and I gave her what I thought was a normal, but unique baby name. Turns out, it was weird. And I’ve heard everything from, “Why would you name your child that?” to “At least she can go by a nickname.” And I realized, when it comes to baby names: it’s all relative.
In a room full of Moxie Crimefighters, Binghams and Apples, maybe Harper Seven isn’t that weird. It all depends on your perspective.
Mary Blue Magruder goes by her middle name “Blue” and she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I was named for a grandmother, a family surname, as part of a double first name, and I’ve loved the fact that I’m the only one. It was especially fun, when I was a freshman at college. […] the other girls on the hallway were Collot, Tova, and Tally and we were all delighted that weird names were the new normal.”
But “weird names” often come with a price. Marcus Winkler is a father to little Raison (pronounced RAY-son) and he says that his son hates his unique name. “I heard him tell another kid at the pool that his name was Jake. He’s sick of kids calling him ‘raisin’. ” But when asked if he would name his kid differently, Marcus said no. “The name means something to my wife. So, I went with it. I think he’ll appreciate it when he gets older.”
Like little Raison, Chalise Zoelezzi used to hate her name. “I wanted to change my name to whatever else I possibly could: Claudia, Jessica…I wished it was my name. Now that I’m older, I can appreciate that having a distinct name automatically makes you unique, unforgettable and allows you to shape all meaning behind it.” When it came time to name her own child, she and her husband picked a unique name. “My husband Jamie and I chose to give him a unique name after our favorite guitarist/musicians. This prompted a somewhat negative response from friends and family but having lived with a name like my parents gave me, I know one day Waylon will appreciate a name that’s all his own.”
That is the gift of an unusual name: the ability to make it your own in a way that all the kids with the “normal” names can’t. In high school, the homecoming king was named Zebulon, Zeb to his friends. His confidence made his name “cool.” Which just goes to show, when it comes to a unique name, it is what you make it. And I, for one, am glad to give that opportunity to my child.
About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com
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Comment by Jenn on Sep 09 2011 03:50:22:
Well my daughters name is far from common but I do not think it is weird and most people seem to like it. Her name is Holland, I have had some people ask me when I said her name if we call her Holly, I am like no I named her Holland if I wanted to call her Holly I would of named her that. My sons name is Greyson, it is not unheard of and becoming popular but around here a lot of people have not heard of it and love it.
Comment by Lyz on Sep 09 2011 03:54:14:
I love the name Holland! I think the same thing happened with me and my daughter, I gave her a name and I didn’t think it was weird until people started giving me the side-eye.
Comment by Jen on Sep 09 2011 03:58:36:
Our next door neighbors have come up with 2 very unique names for both their children, that they made up themselves!!!
And I like both of them very much! They came up with 2 very cool very unique names 
1. Delion, (Duh-lion)
They liked the dandylion and came up with Delion
2. Durgan Oaks (Dur-gahn)
In the car driving down the freeway, just happened to think of Durgan, and drove off an exit, just happened to be on Durgan Street, and there was an oak tree there, hence Durgan Oaks
Comment by AndyPandy on Sep 09 2011 04:00:14:
Holland is a gorgeous name. It’s classy and simple. Love it.
An in-law of mine works at a family court and tells me some of the funniest names he encounters. My favorite and I am not even kidding: (For twins): Unique & Notunique
Comment by Lyz on Sep 09 2011 04:02:29:
I bet Delion and Durgan will grow up loving their names!
Comment by Harmony on Sep 09 2011 04:28:59:
Having a name like mine -harmony- i get the kind of questions you’d expect: “were your parents hippies?” “were they musicians” “are you ‘harmonious’?” But I love my name, and I only know 3 other Harmonys (one is a guy!). People don’t forget you, not like if you were just another Kate or Jessica or Elizabeth (sorry Lyz), or Sarah or Mary or whatever. People see your name on a resume, and it’s like ‘huh, I bet she’s got a story.’ Your unique name is more than just an identifier, it is a conversation starter, a foot in the door, an instant connection to anyone who hears/reads it. Or, in the case of Apple, an obstacle which may force you to be better than your peers to be taken seriously.
Comment by kayla on Sep 09 2011 04:35:12:
i named my son nash mason I wanted something different yet noyt so different he cant spell it my family didnt like it at first they couldnt see calling a baby “nash” but now they say they couldnt imagine him with any other name!
Comment by Serenity on Sep 09 2011 06:25:57:
I am due next month and we’ve chosen a very unique name for our son…it is also longer than the “norm”, as we chose to honour all of our sides of the family (many of our family just the generation above us are gone now)…we wanted to honour their memories, as this may very well be the LAST baby born to some parts of our families.
Our son will be Imbolc August Rhys Mikhil Marín, plus our last name.
Imbolc is the ancient Celtic holiday on which he was conceived. August and Rhys are for my husband’s sides and Mikhil Marín for mine.
His mum loves it, mine not so much but she’ll get used to it.
Comment by Janie on Sep 09 2011 09:23:10:
My friend named her daughter Licksanet. Someone in my son’s class is named, Ieata and her last name is Wiener. All the children make fun of her for her name. I have also known children named Lego, Google, Pacifier, Potter Stupify and Superman. Unique names are becoming more and more normal. I love unique names, but I feel terrible when children are bullied and made fun of because of their names.
Comment by Erin F. on Sep 10 2011 04:29:44:
I’m all about names. First AND middle since my parent kinda forgot that and I only have a first name. All my kid’s first name are pretty normal until the last baby we just had, the lil princess was not only a huge surprise but a also a huge blessing.
My older kids are Amber Nikole (15), that one the nurse kept argueing with me on how to spell Nikole and finally took it upon herself to add the e it was supposed to be Nikol we didn’t realize what she did until it was to late. Do you know how much it cost for a name change!?!?! Brian Jayms (9) the jay part of Jayms is a family tradition thing, any ‘J’ in a boys name. Ashleigh Renea (8) and then Jaidon Tomas (5) (thomas just to clarify.) When surprise baby #5 came along and we found out she was a girl I knew I wanted an A name and the only names I liked didnt go with the middle name my hubby was insisting on. Of all my kids, that were well thought out meaningful names, to me this baby was the hardest to name. I read every baby name book and website and finally someone said “Stop looking so hard and just go about life with whats important to you and you will know her name.” The BEST advice I ever got
My Dad had been very sick, many times close to death but he always fought his was back. He lost both feet and part of a leg and then the use of his hands which devastated me the most because he always played guitar and sang to me the whole time I was growing up and no matter his set he always ended with Puff the Magic Dragon my favorite song. One day very close to my due date while I was trying not to stress out but still with no name my then youngest and I were on youtube listening to Puff and her name came to me. So my littlest angels name is Analei Hope born May 24 2011. Hope like her daddy wanted and Analei (sounds like Honalee where Puff lived) My dad was very pleased and so am I. People trash her name, the spelling and sound of it constantly but she is my Hope, my hope to make it through without my dad who unexpectantly passed away less than 2 months after she was born. God knew what he was doing when he gave us this huge blessing wrapped up in this tiny package and even though my heart breaks every day knowing she wont hear her Papa sing she will definitely know what a special man he was!
Comment by Daisy e on Oct 03 2011 05:25:02:
Im having my babygirl next month n I lov the name Chloe or Destiny I dnt know which is best I dont like unique names if anybody can help ,me out I will really appricated
Daisy E
Comment by Else Cole on Nov 11 2011 03:49:26:
My name is Else, (L- Sah) which is a good Norwegian name, but not a very popular English name. I love it. I was recently reminded of how when I was little I tried to say my name was Sarah, after my cousin. Or Emily, after my friend. I really really wanted to be a Jennifer. After elementary school though, I know how wonderful my name really is. When I meet another Else it is a great experience, I get to talk about my heritage and my grandmother when people ask about my name, and honestly, I AM an Else. I am not a more common name, I am unique and I deserve a name that is as unique and beautiful as I am.
Comment by Else Cole on Nov 11 2011 03:51:19:
My sisters are Karinne Elise, Maren Olava, Kristin Ruth, Else Marie, Fiona Leigh, and Lanora Rose. I am so happy that we have beautiful unusual names.
Comment by Trish on Nov 21 2011 04:57:25:
I named my daughter Franki Isabella and have gotten a lot of crap for it from friends and family and perfect strangers, but I like it. If it’s something that you are happy with, don’t worry about anyone else. I have gotten a lot of looks when I tell a stranger her name (she’s almost 8 months old and I get stopped in every store I go into) and my friends nicely make other suggestions when we have the ‘name talk’, but it’s Franki and always will be
Comment by Jen on Dec 07 2011 03:53:58:
Like most of you, I also wanted a name that was unique but not completely out there. We named our daughter Kora Lei (Cora-Lee). Some people get confused asking if this is her whole first name or first and middle. It is her first name. Her middle name is Rose. The most common comment I get is, “oh yeah! Like that movie!” I say no, that is “Coraline” lol. I really love her name, it’s personable to my husband and I. I think with having two first names, it allows her to choose what she would like to go by as she gets older.