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Love and Marriage
Bonding with your baby is likely to come naturally. The relationship
that may be rocked even more than the cradle,
though, is the one with your partner. "My husband and I
fought like crazy the first couple of months," recalls Woolf.
While tension will vary from couple to couple and may not
always be an issue, it's often the product of exhaustion and
the stress of caring for a newborn. Hormones can also play
a role. "Talk about postpartum depression with your partner
ahead of time," advises Curtis. Being aware of how
prevalent it is-among new moms and dads-can help you
or your partner from taking it personally. "Talk about getting
therapy or counseling if it does arise," Curtis adds.
Sharing your feelings, complimenting each other, and expressing gratitude can all help, too, says Curtis, and having
both parents home for the first week won't just give you the
occasional break to shower, exercise, or nap, but will also
enhance your partnership. "Before we had the baby, my
husband and I loved to dance together in our family room,"
recalls Shelley Salt Knickle, 30, mom to 1-year-old Reese in
Columbus, Ohio. "In the first few weeks, we made sure to
dance with each other-and with the baby. I won't ever forget
my husband being so soft and sweet with his little girl."
Try to make "alone time" a priority as well. Get a sitter so
you can have a night out or, barring that, make an event
out of a meal at home. "Order dinner from a great restaurant,"
suggests Curtis. "Set the table with your good dishes
and eat after you put the baby down. Take your time and
make it as romantic as you can." It's all about relaxation and
togetherness. "We implemented Jacuzzi dates nightly," says
Brann. "We do this after our daughter goes to bed, and it
gives us time to talk about whatever has happened in our
day, the challenges of our new life, and planning for the future-
uninterrupted by phone, television, or the baby."
Finally, realize sex may not be in the cards right away. Most
doctors advise you to wait until after your six-week checkup
to resume intercourse anyway. So, hug and kiss each other
frequently, take showers together, or find other ways to be
intimate until you're given the green light, Curtis suggests.
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Health & Beauty: Bounce Back