To Nurse or Not to Nurse
Facebook 
Get Our Newsletter! 
Print
Read all blog posts by Natalie
Noah signed his first sign today, opening and closing his little hand asking for mommy milk. Incidentally, breastfeeding is quite the topic these days with the recent article published by The Atlantic titled “The Case Against Breastfeeding”. The article was poorly supported by facts and carried a tone that made me think the author regretted having children in the first place. If you haven’t read it, click here.
Nursing, for me, has provided the most amazing opportunity to bond with Noah. I can’t imagine my motherhood experience without it. I’m not about to say it’s all been a rosy experience. I went through my fair share of Mastitis, sore nipples, and consequently weeks of being topless because it hurt too much to wear a shirt…but most “difficulties” have actually been opportunities, in my opinion.
Yes, breastfeeding involves time, and it may feel frustrating to be less “productive”, but it’s sad to know our society values checking things off to do lists over spending time with our babies. Not to mention slings and carriers allow you to nurse while you’re out and about which means you don’t have to live on your sofa.
All this said, I give kudos to working women who pump and have a caregiver bottle feed their baby. It’s sad they have to miss out on the mother-baby intimacy of breastfeeding, but I understand sometimes it’s not all possible. At least baby benefits from the nutritional aspects of mother’s milk. And yeah, it’s totally worth the extra nutrition.
Formula making companies are still unraveling all the components in breast milk. Every few years, a new key ingredient is marketed as an added bonus for baby’s nutrition when in fact it’s always been in human breast milk to begin with.
To top it off, formula will never contain live antibodies, and the cow milk based formula will always contain proteins that are hard for babies to digest. And yes, making healthy milk and maintaining good milk flow involves effort and work…whereas formula is, well, pre-made. Home cooked meal vs. canned food. To me, it’s an easy choice.
All this said, I do agree with the author that our society does not foster an environment that facilitates breastfeeding. From a legal standpoint, things are changing as states pass laws that protect women’s rights to nurse in public. However we we are still far away from accepting and encouraging breastfeeding on a social level.
I think that the things that make formula feeding convenient are actually doing us a disfavor. Bottle feeding allows others to feed baby, but chips away opportunities to establish and enhance the mother-baby bond that is so essential. Measuring food intake takes away from trusting our bodies to feed our babies, and for babies to regulate their own consumption. I could go on and on. I haven’t even touched on gender roles, weaning, economic implications, stigmas, nursing in public… Like I said, I could go on and on, but I know if you’re days are anything like mine, a long blog post is pretty much un-readable!
At any rate, if you’re still craving food for thought, I much prefer this other article written for The New Yorker. It explores the progression, trends and practice of breast feeding from a social standpoint. I promise this one will be more worthwhile. Click here to read it.
About Natalie
My name is Natalie; I am originally from Mexico and my husband from Vietnam, but we make our home in Austin, TX. When we got married, the plan was to take one big, international trip per year for six years before starting a family. Four years and absolutely no stamps in our passports later, along came Noah. Enter my adventures of full time mommyhood, and a new spin to our usual family life of rock climbing, camping and traveling.
Need a little boost of new-mom confidence? Here's our feel good after pregnancy guide 
Comment by kim on Apr 04 2009 04:32:02:
I personally am sick of hearing to breast feed or not to breast feed. whether I do or not is my business, and since I don’t care whether people know or not, I breastfeed one and formula feed the other. Stop saying you have a strong bond with or child because he/she sucks on your boob, really if you can not bond without that maybe you have issuses! And by all means don’t pull your boob out in public have some self respeect for your own privacy no matter what other people think don’t pull it out because you have some cuth!
Comment by Lisa on Apr 04 2009 04:37:27:
I agree Kim!!! Love your comment….thanks for having the ‘boobs’ to say something!
Comment by kim on Apr 04 2009 04:40:22:
sorry I just wanted to add for all of you mom’s that are condeming me to hell b/c I didn’t breastfeed both my kids, they get sick the same amount…they are both equally happy….I can see no difference in the two. On the other hand I have a friend who breastfeeds her baby(who by the way is almost 2!!!!) her kid isn’t sick b/c they don’t levae the house b/c the kid my need a snack and won’t be able to breastfeed!!!!!! very sad that she misses out on so many learning expieriences like the museum, zoo, shopping, playing with other kids.I did not breastfeed my fist b/c of medical reasons, and my second I stopped b/c my first wasn’t getting enough attention b/c breastfeeding takes up so much time.
Comment by kim on Apr 04 2009 04:43:45:
sorry my spelling is so off making me look a crazy lady, I am just so tired of people looking down on people for this very thing and c-sections!! Yes I’m one of those, my child’s heart almost stopped beating and I had an emergency c-section, I’m terrible for not demanding risking my little girls life so she could come out of my v-jj so I could brag what a women I am! My second had to be done by c-section b/c I my first!
Comment by Mel on Apr 05 2009 01:38:24:
I agree with Kim. I breastfed my first daughter for 9 weeks while my sister breastfed her son for a year. My daughter was well over a year old before she ever got sick or had to go in for a sick visit at the doctor. My nephew on the other hand had ear infections all throughout his first year and into his second. I understand and agree that breastmilk is the best nutrition for our children but why does it matter to us what everyone else does? I don’t know why we are so concerned with the next mom not breastfeeding her child. Do we really have that much time on our hands to sit around and worry about what the next mom is or isn’t doing? We all need to do what feels right for us, whatever that may be. With my first daughter breastfeeding was horrible for me but I made myself do it for as long as I could which was 9 weeks. She also developed an allergy of milk and along with several other factors we put her on soy formula. I must admit that the first time I gave her a bottle was the first time I truly felt a bond with her because I was actually enjoying feeding her! All the times I nursed her hurt so badly that I would cry and be afraid to feed her because I knew how much it would hurt. Never once did I just gaze into her eyes while nursing. I was always tense and couldn’t wait for it to be over. I always planned to nurse for at least a year but for me it just didn’t work out. But when I gave her a bottle for the first time I looked into her eyes and I cried once more but this time because I was overwhelmed with joy and amazement as if seeing her for the first time because I was so relaxed. It was very enjoyable for me.
For my second daughter I tried breastfeeding again. This time the pain went away after two weeks – hooray! But after 5 weeks my left side dried up and only my right side was producing! My right side was about two cup sizes bigger than my left and I was in a lot of pain because she wasn’t emptying it fast enough. After many visits with a lactation consultant we decided to start her on formula. While I did bond with my second daughter during breastfeeding my first daughter was acting out because she wasn’t getting enough attention. I just really think that even if a mother isn’t having any problem at all nursing but they simply choose not to breastfeed whose place is it to judge her or make her feel bad about it? Let’s worry more about how we nurture our children emotionally as that has every effect on the type of person they turn out to be. Let’s spend time with our children and love them and be good parents by our actions, not by what we choose to feed them. Life is to short.
Comment by Julie on Apr 05 2009 03:28:26:
Wow. Such anger in a few of these posts. Personally, the Atlantic article perturbed me. I have nursed both of my children, expressing when I needed to return to work. My pet peeve in the Atlantic article is how it is addressing breastfeeding as the “chic” thing to do when, in actuality, it’s NOT just a upper class status symbol. I mean, heck, open a National Geographic.
I don’t care if another mother bottle feeds her child. Fine. But I see no point in denying the innate benefits of nursing. No matter what anyone says, “bonding” is way up there on the list. And we’ve all heard the nutritional benefits (though, yes, it’s true, babies will get sick either way sometimes). But let’s not forget the convenience Natalie mentioned… let alone the perk of losing that baby weight! The fact is, we as women — as MOTHERS — are *made* to nurse!
I’m not advocating whipping out our boobs on street corners or baring all in a restaurant booth. Being discreet is easy, especially with practice and a sling. But, gee, it would be nice to be able to feed my baby in public without getting the evil eye just because I’m not using a bottle. Like I said, I’m not giving anyone a biology lesson when I do it. So come on.
Natalie, thanks for sharing the article links and your personal point of view.
Comment by Belle on Apr 06 2009 01:19:05:
Just wanted to add my 2cents. I agree that this should stop being “such” an issue. it’s a personal choice and should remain the same. I breastfed my son until my milk dried up (7 weeks) and he first got sick at 9 months, and has been sick once a year since. Is it because I breastfed him? Maybe, maybe not, since my nephew was breastfed for a year and was sick all of the time… maybe it was the fact that my son grew up in a house with a dog and they say that exposure actually makes them stronger…
In any case – there are great benefits to breastfeeding, but there are many good and valid reasons (and benefits) to formula feeding. Bonding? not an issue in either one – you (should) bond either way. Bottle feeding actually allows the dad to bond too… and it allows the mom to catch up on some sleep (which is critical to a healthy happy mom which in turn is critical to a healthy happy baby).
In short – breastfeed, or not, it’s your choice, feel good with it and love, protect and cherish your child!
Comment by Dani on Apr 06 2009 03:42:53:
I’m sorry if this is going to come off as harsh. But I strongly feel that if you are ABLE to breastfeed, you should be breastfeeding. The woman in the Atlantic article seemed to me to be saying that you shouldn’t breastfed because it takes time out of your day. You know what? Tough crap! I think you’re selfish, bad mother if you decide to not breastfeed b/c you just can’t seem to make the time. It’ is SCIENTIFICALLY proven to be the BEST thing you can do for your child health-wise for the first year of it’s life. You know why people get upset when other moms don’t breastfeed? It’s because you’re doing your child a disservice, and nobody wants to see that. Did you see the recent news about ROCKET FORMULA being found in formula? This is just another example of why you should breastfeed if you can. I completely understand mothers who are unable to breastfeed b/c of medical reasons, lack of milk, etc. Of course they have no other choice. But if you do and you just choose not to do it, well people SHOULD tell you that you are making the wrong decision.
Comment by Rebecca on Apr 06 2009 05:03:03:
I believe that it is the mother’s choice to breastfeed or formula feed. My first three children didn’t take to the breast very well. So I had to formula feed them. They weren’t that sick there first year. My fourth child was born in Dec. of “08″.
I breastfeed him for the first three months. He couldn’t get enough. So I had to start to supplementing w/ formula. I’m still breastfeeding and formula feeding. He hasn’t gotten sick yet.I do agree with Kim. You should cover up and respect other people when breastfeeding. Where I live this lady is suing a Denny’s resturant saying that they tried to throw her out b/c she wouldn’t cover up. That was so untrue. The mananger asked her to move to a more succluded spot because the other customers’ were very embarresed by her not covering up. So I’m defintly w/
the manager on this one. But hispanics are the worst to not cover
up.
Comment by Lindsay on Apr 06 2009 09:49:47:
Rebecca,
I am astonished at the racism in your comment. Seriously? “Hispanics are the worst to not cover up.” Seriously? Not swure why it’s even an issue that she was feeding her baby at the restaurant. I’m so thankful that where I live it is a Human Rights violation to interfere with a nursing mother – as it should be.
Comment by Della on Apr 07 2009 02:33:04:
I agree, you bond with your child either way, and yes your child will get sick either way at some point. I have three children. I couldn’t breastfeed my first because of medical reasons, my second child I was still young and personally not comfortable w/ breastfeeding. My last child (11 months old) I was older and more mature and breastfed for 5 months. I would have continued but like others mothers my milk dried up. I am close equally w/ all my children. My oldest has allergies and asthma, so do I. My daughter is 7 and has only been sick 4 times (formula feed!). My youngest boy has been sick 3 times (breastfeed!) Yes, I agree you should cover up out of respect for other people who don’t care to see that. I had a good experience, I know many who have not. If it not enjoyable for you chances are your child senses that. And for the mothers that con’t to breastfeed their child beyond toddler years, personally I think that’s sick and wrong. Not being modest is in all races not just hispanics, you should keep that to you self.
Comment by Lisa on Apr 07 2009 02:55:42:
I breastfed all three of my children until they self weaned…my first at 7 months, my second at 12 months and my third at 13.5 months. To say that breastfeeding takes too much time is such an unbelievable fallacy…I formula fed my oldest from when she weaned until she was a year and I can tell you from experience that it takes way more time to prepare a bottle and bottle feed than it does to breastfeed. I also did not miss out on social opportunities due to breastfeeding…my babies food was always the right temperature and ready to go, which to me, was infintely more convenient than trying to prepare a bottle on the fly. I am not one to breastfeed openly in public, as I preferred to cover up…but that was mainy for other people’s comfort, not my own. I felt no shame in providing my children the best possible food available to them. I am thankful there is formula available to those babies whose mother’s are not able to breastfeed due to medical issues, but I honestly have no tolerance for those who choose NOT to breastfeed so that others may mother their children for them.
Comment by Shevin on Apr 07 2009 03:30:25:
To nurse or not to nurse is one of the biggest questions a mother has to answer even before the baby is here and EVERYONE seems to have an opinion on what YOU should do.
Let me say now that I didn’t nurse any of my boys and I might have been able to but I never cared to find out and you know what I’m ok with that. I bonded just fine with all of them and had a deep connection with each of them. I’m so sick of hearing that as one of the reasons to nurse, I liked that I was able to bond & so could my hubby and the boys grandparents, and of course it gave me a much needed break. I wouldn’t call letting loved ones giving the boys a bottle “mothering my children” for me. I have stayed at home since we had our first son & let me tell you I have fed all the boys more than anyone else! Along with all the other things mothering entails, so if a loved one wanted to give them a bottle for me to give me a break I was fine with them doing so. I got very good at making a bottle if we were home or out so it was never a big deal b/c I could anticipate them being hungry so we were never caught with a screaming baby. There are pros & cons for both sides. I don’t care if you nurse or you don’t & I don’t care why. I don’t care if you do it in public as long as you cover up. I do think it would be nice if more places had a room where mom & baby could go that was more comfy than sitting at a booth.
I wish that we could all stop with who’s the better mom the one who nurses or the one who doesn’t. It would be nice if we could all just support each others decision whatever it may be. I don’t feel like any less of a woman b/c I didn’t nurse or supplement or pump. I made the choice I made b/c it’s what was best for myself & all my sons are healthy & happy & well adjusted, they are 4, 2, & 1 and still alive & kicking even though I never offered up milk at the tap.
Comment by Sheila on Apr 07 2009 03:41:16:
The # of times a breastfed vs. formula-fed baby has gotten a cold or other common sickness isn’t how you measure the benefits of breastfeeding. A breastfed baby will have life-long benefits, including reduced rates of cancer (this is documented with lung cancer). Should you support a mom’s decision to feed their child only fried and fatty foods, even though it’s been shown to lead to higher rates of obesity and cholesterol? If it’s proven that your child might face more health risks now or later in life by NOT breastfeeding, aren’t you doing harm to your child by choosing not to breastfeed if you are physically able to?
Comment by Shevin on Apr 07 2009 03:45:34:
NOPE.
Comment by Jen on Apr 07 2009 09:37:24:
Don’t judge me for whipping my breasts out in public and I won’t judge you for formula feeding. When someone raises an eyebrow or gives me the evil eye for letting a nipple slip then I might be tempted to squirt them and I have some serious milky range
I respect my privacy and breastfeeding my infant when she is hungry is the most self respecting thing I can do. I had no problems being discreet with my first child BUT baby #2 is a wild, busy eater. At first I stressed, I worried, I tugged the blanket, the sling and I even fed on the toilet seat in public restrooms. THAT was not respectful to her or myself. It isn’t like I am nursing center stage and collecting ones for the show. I am on a bench, in a corner or tucked in the back of a booth feeding my hungry baby. Her hunger means more to me than other people’s insecurities.
Comment by kim on Apr 08 2009 01:49:15:
me again!! the one that started all the drama. let me just ask…to all you mom’s that only breastfeed..how is your relationship with your husband…not how you think it is going how does he feel? be honest!
Comment by kim on Apr 08 2009 01:50:05:
and to jen that’s just grouse to attempt to squirt someone i mean really…
Comment by Jen on Apr 08 2009 07:45:50:
LOL! Then I take it you don’t want me to send you a breastmilk soap recipe?
If you thought that was gross…. I can just imagine your gasp of horror to know that when my husband doesn’t mind his manners I threaten to subsitute breastmilk in the cooking.
Honestly, hubby and I have a fun and passionate relationship..mainly because we take very few things too seriously. We have been through so much together that we have learned to laugh together. Our first daughter started out in NICU with a heartrate of 250 at rest and I was having a rough recovery as well. We got through it with love and shared laughter. I think it is those things that determine and shape the nature of our relationship more than if my breasts are leaky or bone dry.
Hugs, love and support for ALL mothers and the tough decisions we make every day.
Comment by Becca on Apr 08 2009 03:31:45:
Kim:
What do you mean what does my husband think of it? Of breastfeeding?
My husband is thrilled that I have breastfed, and wouldn’t have it any other way. He agrees with me that it’s one of the best things I can do for our child. Did your husband have a problem with it? Any man that has a problem with breastfeeding has a mental problem.
Comment by a on Apr 08 2009 06:08:15:
I really don’t understand why anyone cares how other mothers feed their children. I was a formula baby. My daughter was breastfed, but we also supplemented with formula. So what? End result? I will likely develop the osteoporosis, heart disease, and/or diabetes that is prevalent in my family tree. So will my daughter. Because in areas of health, nature usually trumps nurture. Ask those joggers who lived very healthy lives before they dropped dead of a heart attack.
My husband, who is a very intelligent person, who attended breastfeeding class with me, had a problem with breastfeeding. Why? Because he couldn’t see how much food our daughter was getting. She wasn’t sick, she wasn’t losing weight, but he didn’t know how much food she was getting. It’s not a mental problem to show concern. Plus, it interfered with his bonding process, because I was the only one who could comfort our daughter when she was teething or gassy.
Comment by kim on Apr 08 2009 06:52:04:
no my hubby didn’t have a problem other than the fact he missed me and i missed him. he’s wonderful and breastfeeding my son was fine, but it took up a lot of time, and call me selfish but i did miss my husband and my little girl, if you only have one child don’t respond b/c you don’t know how much time it takes away from another child. my other question is for all you mom’s that only breastfeed..please be 100% honest with yourself…is all the other food you put into your babies mouth healthy or are you the type to curse us that formula feed, then turn around and give your breastfed 6 month old a swig from you sonic soda ( i’m not being mean i trully know i mom that does..gloats that she breastfeeds then lets him drink her coke, starbucks lattes with extra cream, whatever her drink or snack at the moment) i love this discussion we’ve had b/c we get mad and say things but it just shows we all feel STRONGLY that we are doing what’s right for our child and our family. thanks for all your different views. hopefully all our kids breastfed or formula fed, are lucky enough to stay fed, never go hungry, or have to skip a meal, and are happy.
Comment by kim on Apr 08 2009 09:51:02:
if anyone has read and agreed or disagreed with my comments, from this I have decided to make a blog, looking for mrs.right b/c mommy needs a grown up friend
Comment by Della on Apr 09 2009 02:30:11:
Kudos to the comment regarding our kids being fed, never going hungry, skipping a meal and happy. also being safe and loved. One other note just b/c you breastfeed doesn’t mean you have to take time away from your other kids. I simply explained what I was doing and why to my older children, they helped me burb during feedings and was in the room with me most of the time. My husband and didn’t have any problems. These days the have things called bras and breast pads it didn’t interfere in anyway w/ our relationship. pumping w/ a breast pump allowed him to be involved.
Comment by Natalie on Apr 10 2009 03:59:47:
Hello everyone,
I wanted to thank you for reading and commenting on my post. This blog is a place for me to document my experiences, thoughts, and feelings as I make my way through motherhood. I am honored that you shared some of your time to read about what’s going on in my world. I am also very glad you feel free to express your own thoughts and experiences regarding my entries. I think in the end there is no “right” way to parent children. We all make decisions on what we think is best for our own child. Having said this, there is a big difference between disagreeing with someone and disrespecting or thinking less of them for their parenting choices. It is certainly never my intention to convey the latter, and regret if I have made anyone feel that way. I hope to keep reading your comments in future posts, so this blog also becomes a place for YOU to document your own motherhood journey…regardless of what side of the fence you might be on:)
Comment by Thuy on Apr 10 2009 04:06:05:
Jen-
I went through the same metamorphosis of starting out as covered as I could and ending up being more concerned about my son feeding well rather than being distracted with a blanket over his face. I completely agree about your comment regarding respecting your child’s need to nurse without making it be taboo. On top of it all, I love your sense of humor about it. I wish we could all adopt your lightheartedness when talking about such touchy subjects as parenting!
Comment by Kelli-resident mom on May 21 2009 08:31:04:
Natalie – thanks for sharing your opinion and the link to the article. I personally find both opinions to be very interesting.
Comment by melissa on Nov 15 2009 03:02:37:
I must say I am disgusted by some of the peoples comments on this blog…Lisa and Sheila you both wrote very judgmental posts, first and foremost if someone else feeds your child they are NOT mothering your child for you! That is beyond absurd, are you saying moms should get no help? Moms need rest and a break to and some mom’s work full time and of course someone else may be feeding their child. Some moms can’t breast feed for medical reasons and some return to work immediately and can’t breastfed or may need to supplement. The debate over breast milk and all the antibodies in it is not in question, we all know the extra benefits. but like everything in life not one specific way works for everyone. My son was bottle fed and has never ever gotten sick. Yes, there are long term health benefits to breast milk BUT it is other things in a child’s life that will determine their good health more then breast milk…such as a healthy diet throughout the years…many children are breast fed and then after they are off of it and eating solids they eat crappy unhealthy food, so their health is way more at risk from that then any formula given. Lastly the issue of bonding, please, I bonded with my son on every level and he was bottle fed. The idea that a bottle fed baby is bonding less with their mother is absolutely ridiculous….SHAME on all of the judgmental women who posted here, women who have no idea what another women’s circumstances may be, your attitude is quite obnoxious.