Baby Name Regret
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By Lyz Lenz
When my daughter was born, we had no idea she was going to be a daughter. We didn’t find out her gender until she came out of the womb and the doctor announced, “You have a girl!” and you could have knocked us over with a pink hair bow, because based on the amount of testosterone in my husband’s family we were sure we were having a boy. Everyone else was sure. In fact, we were so sure that we went to the hospital with one boys name and two girls’ names that we had only loosely agreed on.
So, when my daughter was born she remained nameless for three hours while we waffled. A name was finally chosen when I saw that the nurses had written “baby girl” on her sheets and I started bawling. We chose the name Ellis Claire. And for the next two weeks of her life I woke up every morning with a feeling of dread in my stomach. “We named her the wrong name!” I told my husband. “She’s not an Ellis. She’s a June. We should have named her June!”
Never mind that she was born in March and I had previously thought naming a kid born in March June was silly. My post-partum mind was sure I had ruined her life. Fortunately, my husband told me very kindly that I was crazy and thwarted my attempts to contact the social security office. By the time Ellis was three months old and her little personality was starting to emerge, I forgot all about my name regret. She was an Ellis and I couldn’t imagine a better name for her.
According to Parenting.com, one tenth of parents regret the name they gave their child. I almost wonder if this isn’t exacerbating by the growing number of people who announce their baby names well before the baby arrives, giving well-meaning, but misguided family members the chance to weigh in on the name selection. Or maybe it’s just a result of people thinking the name they chose is special and unique, only to learn a year later that in fact, there are a lot of little Isabellas out there.
Do you regret the name you chose for your child? Why do you think so many people regret their child’s name?
About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com
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Comment by Shannon on Oct 25 2011 03:58:39:
I have a beautiful, amazing, talented, loving soon to be 13 year old daughter that I named Tanner Nicole. I have always thought that name fit her to a “T”, but about a year ago she started questioning me why I had named her a boys name. It was at that point that I wondered if I had named her the wrong name. What if I screwed up her entire life because I named her a boys name? We have talked extensively about it and I have told her that she is more than welcome to go by Nicole if that would make her happy. To my relief we started talking about it again the other day and she told me that the funny thing about it is….she is a Tanner.
She’s right, it fits her perfectly and I can’t imagine her as anything else. I love that little girl (young lady).
Comment by Lyz on Oct 25 2011 04:02:33:
As someone who also gave her daughter a “boys” name, I loved this story! Thanks.
Comment by Heather on Oct 25 2011 04:35:03:
I decided to name my daughter Harmannie Victoria Grace for a very special reason. It may not be a popular name and people may find a problem with it but it was very meaningful to me. I called her that throughout my entire pregnancy. My sister is VERY pushy. So while delivering my baby (prematurely) she started in on how she will call her ‘hominy grit’ for the rest of her life if I dare name her that. I was so upset and didn’t care at that moment in agony and fearing that my babys lungs were not ready. My sister pulled out the baby book and we made it to the A’s. She said how about ‘Alexis’ and I told her I don’t care. Then she started in on the middle names saying it was too much. But again I had picked them out to honor special people. I picked Grace. So my Harmannie Victoria Grace became Alexis Grace. 11 years later and I still regret even allowing her in the delivery room.
Comment by Christine on Oct 25 2011 04:40:44:
We named our son Nicholas, because it was both a name we both liked enough, and could “agree” on. Honestly, I thought it would grow on me, but three and a half years later it still hasn’t. He goes by Nick, and while it’s not a bad name– I feel like he should have a different name. It’s a very strange feeling.
Comment by Stephanie on Oct 25 2011 04:45:15:
I name my daughter Ellie Lynn. Ellie I had got from Oprah one day when I was watching it. The Lynn is from my sister. It just flows together. And to top it off, her name definitely fits her attitude! I don’t regret her name one bit.
Comment by Lauren on Oct 25 2011 04:50:54:
We thought for sure we were having a girl. We even had a girl’s name picked out and hadn’t even looked at boy’s names when we went for our 20 week ultrasound. So when we found out it was a boy, we started looking again. We had it narrowed to 3 names by the time I was 8 months, but I didn’t share them with anyone, not wanting opinions. I loved Andrew, but my husband didn’t. We agreed on Jacob, and now I can’[t imagine him going by any other name.
Comment by Brittany Batten on Oct 25 2011 09:03:11:
I love my. Delylah Kay I can't think of a better name for her.
Comment by Shannon on Oct 25 2011 05:10:10:
BTW: I love the name Ellis Claire. It is full of personality as I’m sure your daughter is.
Comment by Tiffany Harper Hicks on Oct 25 2011 09:39:26:
I don't regret my daughters' names, but I do regret is how it has now become a popular name among other people and celebrities, when to me it is a family name with a rich heritage. I chose this name when I was 11 years old because I wanted my teachers to call me by my last name, Harper, but they refused my request. At the time, I had decided my first child, boy or girl would carry the name in honor of their maternal grand-parents and paternal great-grandparents. 9 years later, it has become a popular name and I want to rail at those parents who have no connection to the name, other than they loved it. ARGH! I know I am being petty, but when I ask someone why they chose a name, I want a bit of family history behind it, not because they saw it in a book. A child has to carry a name with them the rest of their life, shouldn't there be a story to tell with it. This is the southern belle in me, I suppose.
Comment by CC on Oct 25 2011 06:35:48:
Oh I like Ellis Claire, that is really pretty. I know on some name boards they would have a fit that Ellis is being used on a girl. Do you get any comments on that? Also it sounds similiar to Alice, do you have to correct people? I might have to put Ellis on my girls list. Im just curious what I would expect as far as feedback in real life.
Also to Christine, please tell us what exactly your not feeling with the name Nicholas, maybe some of us could help to give a new perspective? you said he doesnt seem like a Nicholas, what kind of boy do you imagine fitting a name like Nicholas? For what its worth, Nicholas is a great name, its timeless and has been used for centuries. It has many great nickname options and can fit many personalities. If you could do it over, what names do you think would fit your son better? Im hoping we can help you have a new perspective.
Comment by Wynta on Oct 25 2011 08:39:54:
I love the names I have given my children. My daughters are Summer Veronica and Autumn Frances and my son is Aviv George. We are the four seasons. Their middle names are in honor of their grand and great grand parents. Each name is highly meaningful to me. There is never a moment of regret.
Comment by Kristie on Oct 26 2011 12:49:35:
I combined my middle name and my husbands first name for out sons name..I took Dorion and David and came up with Davorien..We both love the name and it has personal meaning to the both of us..Our sons name is as unique as he is…Definitely a one of a kind..
Comment by Julie on Oct 26 2011 08:10:35:
After much debate, we picked out a name we both agreed upon and thought we had our baby’s name decided. I was getting induced at 6am and the night before the induction at 10:30pm, my husband said the decided upon name. I don’t think I’d thought much about how he said it but I didn’t like it as it sounded like a different name. I didn’t want name confusion! So that very night, we ended up going online and two hours later selected a new name. I had worried that we would regret her newly selected name, but family and friends have loved it and I am so glad we went with the new name – Hannah Virginia!
Comment by Lyz on Oct 26 2011 12:23:49:
Only old people think we are saying Alice when we say “Ellis.” And yeah, I’ve gotten a couple rude comments. But every name has a downside. I know people who still think my name is Lynn, even though I say “LYZ short for Elizabeth!” So, no big deal
Comment by Shelli on Oct 26 2011 05:06:37:
I named my son Atreyu Nikolas. Atreyu from the movie/book The Neverending Story. I wanted something different, not something you hear everyday. The name means “Son of All”. Being my husband and I both agreed upon it and we are both different ethnicities (mainly European but still very different from one another) and he doesn’t even know all of his, it fit. People either say “oh the Neverending Story” with a smile or give me a look of wth were you thinking. I don’t even care anymore, we love it and that’s all that mattered. We call him Trey for short. Nikolas is my grandfather’s middle name I just dropped the “c” in the spelling so it too was different. Now I am 4 weeks from my due date with our little girl and her name will be Calysta Laylia. We had decided on the middle name when I was pregnant with our son if he was a girl so we stuck with it. Once again, different. And Calysta is normally spelled Calista but I had to AGAIN be different and spell it with a “y”. Funny part is they are both Greek derived names (which I am part Greek) and they mean beautiful and talker and I just know she’s going to be absolutely gorgeous and the typical girl who talks non-stop lol. Basically go with a name you like for whatever the reason may be, whether it be a family name or just a name you feel is a great name. And don’t regret it because of what other’s think! IT’S NOT THEIR CHILD!
Comment by Lee on Oct 27 2011 03:04:58:
My daughter is named Elliot Clay. Yes, two boys names. She is three and when people try to call her Ellie, she says “No! Elliot!” I hope she will like it when she grows up. I personally love it. And I couldn’t imagine calling her anything else. I had that name picked out as soon as I found out I was pregnant! So many people tried to change my mind but I stayed firm! No regrets!
Comment by Samantha Wood on Oct 28 2011 03:45:51:
I regretted my sons name but only because of what others said about it. Now when I love on my little Jethro I totally see him with that name. He has a strong old name that is beautiful in every way. Not only is he handsome to back up his name he is strong in personality. My beautiful Jethro. Now no stealing though people.
I love my one of a kind little man.
Comment by Caitlin on Oct 29 2011 01:22:25:
The only thing I really regretted about my son’s name is that it turned out to be fairly popular around the time of his birth. I had thought I was picking something fairly unique but not uncommon only to find out everyone else was thinkning the same thing! I named my little guy Wyatt without realizing (as a young mom) that many older coulpes just having kids were doing the same because of the movie Tombstone rather than just simply falling in love with the name.
Other than getting a little heat from his dad’s family for not picking a hispanic name and giving him my maiden name as a surname and his dad’s family name as a middle name (since we aren’t married), I don’t get much complaint. Wyatt is a cute name that he can easily grow up with. It also fits him perfectly. I was afraid it wouldn’t suit him but I think once you stick to a name, you can never go back. He was just always Wyatt.
Comment by Tricia on Nov 02 2011 09:46:01:
I named my daughter Franki Isabella. I have gotten A LOT of feedback, both positive and negative, from friends, family and strangers that stop us in the stores – I have a beautiful seven month old little girl. There were a few times where I thought I should change her name, but not because I didn’t like it, but because I had so many people that would make faces and say, ‘Why did you give her a boy’s name?’ I know that she will have a rough time in school with teachers giving her looks when she calls out, ‘here’ for attendance, and other looks when she fills out applications, but I think it is perfect for her. I wanted a name that you couldn’t shorten or give a nickname – even when I tell people her name, they say, ‘Is it short for Francesca?’ and when I say no, they usually just say, ‘oh’. I love her name and think it will be more popular for girls in the near future – I’m starting a trend
Comment by Marie on Nov 30 2011 11:54:52:
As someone with two boys, I have to say I REALLY don’t like it when people give their girls boys names. One of our “criteria” when picking out a name was that we didn’t want the name to be ambiguous (is it a boy? is it a girls?). But it’s hard to come up with names like that. And while there are so many more names to chose from for girls, people keep using boys names for girls – some even becoming more common for girls now than for the boys.
Comment by Lyz on Nov 30 2011 12:03:05:
@Marie I really don’t understand this desire for gender distinction in names. Why is it so important that a boy’s name screams MASCULINE and a girl’s name shouts FEMININE? I don’t think other people’s choices have to invalidate your own. But that’s the point of my article. Name your child what you want and stop getting so hung up on other people’s opinions.