My son had a hard time when I would leave for work. He knew I was leaving because I would tell him bye, grab my purse, kiss him, ect. One day it occurred to me that I never told him where I was going or that I would come back. Although he was very young, I really think he understood.
Comment by Carolyn – Resident Mom on Aug 02 2011 10:43:44:
My daughter, who is now 16 months old, periodically goes through stages like this. I find that she becomes more clingy when she is undergoing a major change e.g. starting to crawl, learning to walk, having her grandparents come to stay, going on a big trip, etc.
When she is like this, I find it useful to hold my daughter while I talk to the new person. This gives her a chance to get used to there being someone else in the mix. Then, I casually hand my child over to that person and reassure her that she is safe. The next best thing is for to leave the room at once. She will wail for a few minutes but soon becomes distracted by whatever her new carer is showing her. I find that she grows out of these clingy phases in a few weeks.
Since your little one is so young, perhaps you could try to leave him/her with someone else for longer and longer periods? Make sure that the carer has something new to distract your baby. And try to appear light-hearted, even if you don’t feel it. I promise you, it is a phase (though a tough one) and it will pass.
Comment by Marshee-Resident Mom on Aug 09 2011 07:31:01:
You might want to do trial runs at home first. When you and baby are home, have the care giver over and leave them in the room for short periods of time together.Then extend the time away from them.hopefully the child will adjust to to you not being there quickly.
Hope this helps.
Comment by Samantha on Aug 10 2011 06:59:05:
mine is 11 months old and the same way. they love thier mama’s lol
Comment by Sophia on Aug 16 2011 03:56:20:
I would suggest getting him used to playing with another adult with you around. You can then slowly start to increase the distance while he’s engrossed. Take a small trip to the loo or the kitchen leaving him still playing with the other person. Then maybe the backyard or so and with everytrip he will understand a bit better that mommy has only left temporarily and will come back! My 15 month old little one is a clingy lady and this has worked to a huge extent for us.
Good luck and don’t worry yourself, it will happen!
Comment by Sophia on Aug 16 2011 04:00:30:
On a sidenote, I think the best adults to try this with would be the grandparents!! You won’t worry about baby boy not being on his best behaviour if things arent working out while you’re gone
I agree with Sophia – take smaller trips away from your child, so your child can get used to your leaving and will trust that you will return. I have a three year old and we always make a point of telling him goodbye and not just sneaking out on him, even if he is well distracted and playing with the sitter. I also would encourage you to be firm with your goodbyes. When leaving your child with someone else, avoid prolonging the good bye once you have said bye bye to your child follow through with your words and leave. Trust that the sitter will call if help is needed.
Comment by Jonna on Aug 24 2011 11:39:53:
I have to agree with Julie. Try not to prolong the goodbye. I have worked in a daycare center and most children stop screaming shortly if not immediately after you leave.
Comment by Julie on Sep 10 2011 04:15:05:
Ditto Julie and jonna…
Comment by Lauren on Sep 23 2011 05:14:08:
backing Julie and Joanna also. Its hard to walk out on your screaming baby, but the longer you stay the more upset they get. When I need to leave either of my sons with someone I would always tell them (even when they were that young) they were going to go play with whoever it was and would normally go early so I can play with them and make sure they are comfortable. Then when it was time to go I wouldn’t make a big deal of it, no matter their reaction. I would just give them a kiss and say goodbye and that I’d be back soon. When I had problems with my older son being left with a family member or close friend, if at all possible I would have them come pick em up, He thought it was cool he got to go somewhere without mommy, always worked out way better than mommy leaving him.
Comment by Abicher- “Official Resident Mom” on Jan 16 2012 01:47:19:
If he has always been with you it is probably some separation anxiety, but if it is just starting it could be that around his age they start getting awareness of new things and become hesitant. Either way, try first with people he will see a lot of (dad, grandparents, close friends) and have them play with him while you are also engaging with him. This will show him that it is okay for other people to be around him and that you trust them. Then gradually once he seems distracted in play with the other person, walk away (within sight) and do something else. If he cries have the person playing with him distract (not by picking up and holding as that will scare him more) but with a toy or something. You don’t react at all– this is the key. If he learns you will run and save him even when there is no danger it will become a formed habit. Good luck!
Comment by Echo Davis on Feb 29 2012 04:57:18:
Sounds like seperation anxiety. My son is 10 mos. Old and I am still going threw this. I got him a " fuzzy" those little blankets with s stuffed animal attached to it. When I leave for work I give him this. Still gets upset but is working. I asked my Dr. About this and he said separation anxiety means you and your child have a great bond and that his emotional skills are where they need to be. Its a good thing but stressful as well!
Comment by Caitlin Nicole on Mar 19 2012 11:44:45:
Classic case of separation anxiety, and it's completely normal. If you'd like to help him socialize, schedule short little play dates with other children or potential babysitters/care-takers. I'd say start with 15-20 minute "dates" here and there so that he gets used to seeing said person(s). Over time, make it a longer "date," but not too long because young children don't normally keep their attention focused on one thing for too long. Just stay in sight so that your son knows you're there if he needs you, but let them do their own thing. Eventually, your son will get used to being around others and will eventually get better as far as his separation anxiety. If you're worried about it or need some reassurance, you can always call his Ped — he/she is there to help you and can answer any questions you have.
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