“Why I Quit Breastfeeding”
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Frustration
Jill Berry wanted to breastfeed her baby. She notes, “I took the Lamaze class. I assumed I would breastfeed. After a lengthy labor and a difficult recovery from a C-section, the last thing I was able to do was maneuver a baby for breastfeeding. I could barely sit up in bed let alone, switch positions while feeding my infant daughter. Add in two inverted nipples that no amount of pumping could de-invert. Throw in a poor sucking reflex for the baby. And it was a hot mess.” Berry did her best to pump and breastfeed, but the frustration combined with the pressure of going back to work in four week was a lot to bear. She sought help from a lactation consultant, but was still frustrated. “I quit breastfeeding at the end of my daughter’s 3rd week. Her first bottle? She downed [it] in about 3 seconds flat. The poor little thing was hungry.”
Lack of support
Jennie Markley had her baby at 11:14PM and her insurance counted that as her first day in the hospital. As a result, the next day was her only full day in the hospital and she was only able to see the lactation consultant for a total of 10 minutes. Markley didn’t know how to get her child to latch properly and ended up doing some serious damage to her nipples. While they healed she give her daughter formula, and when she was ready to try again, her daughter preferred the bottle. Markley wanted to breastfeed, but she notes, “But between the cost of the [lactation consultant] visits and the breast pump it was unsuccessful.”
Breastfeeding is a taxing but rewarding journey for both mom and baby. But it’s also a personal one and no matter what you decide, it’s important for all moms to get support. Said Benedict, “Once a woman gets through the first very difficult month, she is likely to go the distance for at least several months. If she knows up front that the first two to three weeks are going to be hard, and she may need regular lactation consultations for a couple weeks, but that this will be compensated for by greater ease of feeding (and baby benefits) later, she is likely to make it through that first challenging month.”
As for me, I’m taking it one day at a time. And despite the frustration, I love that my daughter’s chubby rolls are 100% my creation.
Have you stopped breastfeeding? If so, what was your reason?
About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com
What a great gift idea for a mom-to-be. Pregnancy Countdown Hand Painted Magnetic Chalkboard $28.00 
Comment by Serenity on Sep 12 2011 03:08:38:
I made it about 5 months with my first two. I would have done it longer, but they both started teething around that time and started refusing to suck…all they would do was chew. Chewed nipples are not fun! I tried to continue to pump for a while, but with both of them I was back at work and this was before all the time given to pumping mothers to “do their thing”. I am about to have my third and will nurse him as long as I can…if he goes the way of the other two, I will be at home instead of having to work, so pumping this time may work.
Comment by kim on Sep 12 2011 04:09:49:
I’m not a breastfeeding nazi, but I do think it’s incredibly beneficial to the baby. It’s a shame there isn’t more support out there for new moms who need it.
I breastfed my first child until he was two. My second is now 5 months and has always had some difficulty nursing. A couple weeks ago we consulted yet another lactation consultant. She diagnosed our baby with tongue-tie. He’s a type 3 which is harder to detect which is why it went undiagnosed for so long. We have him scheduled for a procedure to fix it next week which will hopefully fix things.
In the meantime, I’ve pumped and used a Dr. Brown’s preemie nipple on the bottle. We’ve also had to supplement with formula as I can’t seem to keep my supply up while solely pumping. It’s tough and frustrating on many levels.
I hope that all the women out there who want to nurse are able to find the support and information they need to succeed.
Comment by Katie on Sep 12 2011 04:11:16:
Lack of support and our modern lifestyle are truly the only reasons women quit breastfeeding. Think about it. Pain can’t be a new phenomenon and milk supply can be directly impacted by stress. WHO’s recommendation is nice, but historically women fed their babies for several years (and in parts of the world still do) so who is really to say one year is a good cut off.
Our modern lifestyle does not typically go hand in hand with the amount of time and support required to accomplish breastfeeding. Yes, some women still manage to pull it off and I applaud them. But, the majority of us end up in a mess of a situation where you have to weigh your personal misery over what you feed your baby. In the parts of the world where women are the most successful breastfeeders, there is a community of other women helping to raise the babies. Here, we are basically on our own. The fact that you love your child enough to suffer through pumping (so completely unnatural) or stress over what is right means your a good mom. Many, many kids start out on formula early and grow up fine. It is better to be a calm, less stressed out mom that formula feeds than to be a miserable breastfeeder. Breast is best, but only up to a point.
Comment by Amy on Sep 12 2011 04:13:18:
Who sponsored this article? Enfamil or Similac?
While I support a mom’s right to choose the feeding situation that works for her family (I’ve written many times about this at my own blog), I strongly dislike one-sided articles that talk about how hard breastfeeding is, and don’t offer any solutions.
I had a horrible time with getting started with my first child. Like almost everything, learning to nurse is a process. You didn’t just jump on your first bike and take off, either. I got help from Kellymom.com, my local La Leche League leader, and other moms. The expensive Lactation Consultants were useless in my case, but I know they have helped others.
It takes dedication and support (including not having to return to work at 6 weeks post-partum) to make it work, but it CAN be done. I think this article would have been a lot more productive had it talked about solutions to some of these very common problems.
Comment by Heather on Sep 12 2011 04:28:30:
I stopped nursing exclusively at 2 weeks and started supplementing formula at night because I didn’t have enough for my daughter. At 3 weeks I could only nurse 3 times a day and by 5 weeks, I was completely dried up. I literally tried everything, but the more
I nursed and pumped, the less supply I had. I only had two days of actually having a real supply. Our little girl is 3.5 months old and she and I are both happy with the formula. I hated nursing so much that I don’t plan to ever do it again more than the first few weeks.
Comment by Christina on Sep 12 2011 04:42:32:
I was set on breastfeeding my first born for a year. Imagine my disappointment when he was born and he wouldn’t latch.
I stayed in the hospital for 3 days to work w/ the lactation specialist and she couldn’t get it either. They gave me ideas to help him “warm up” (have him suck on my finger) and recommended I continue to see an LC. We went to the LC 3xs/week and he still didn’t know how to latch. It was so stressful and depressing. Everyone I knew was telling me, “stop putting yourself through this-just give him formula!!” but I knew that while formula was just fine, my breast milk was specially formulated just for my baby and so I pumped..and pumped…and pumped to keep up a supply. Finally, when Cristiano was 3 weeks old, we got him latched!! It was so wonderful to finally nurse my baby boy. It was very difficulty because of the pain (I can relate to the mom who mentioned having to grip the chair in pain-I was there too…I would hold my breath and count to 3 before putting him on and then count to 10 as if that would make the pain go away faster). I pushed through it and after probably 2 months of nursing, it became less painful (and my nipples toughened up!). We nursed until Cristiano was 5 months old…a large part of why we quit is that I went back to work and wasn’t able to pump as much as Cristiano was consuming, which made me stress and made pumping even harder. Another big part of why we stopped is because after 4.5 months of nursing, Cristiano never really got the hang of the latch. Turns out, he has a very high palate so getting my nipples up to press against his palate was a nearly impossible task for a teeny little tongue. Cristiano is about to be 12 months and he’s perfectly healthy, having been consuming formula his past 7 months of life. I’m glad I gave it the effort that I did but I still wish he had breast milk…I pray it will go well next time around.
Comment by Tara on Sep 12 2011 05:02:43:
I’ve been breastfeeding/pumping my first baby for 8 months…I don’t find it challenging like this article makes it sound, I find it to really be convenient. Now that my LO is 8 months she really is active while breastfeeding (kneading,pinching,twisting and sometimes biting my breasts) I still love it and wouldn’t change it. I will say at about 6 months we started giving her formula here and there when my supply was low, but you can always bring your supply back up in a matter of days.
Comment by Dee on Sep 12 2011 05:26:04:
After 8 weeks of nipple shield, force-feeding, tantrums, I stopped nursing baby and moved on to a full-time pumping schedule. My daughter is almost 6 months old and I have been pumping 6x a day for 4 months! I have thought of quitting plenty of times but have never gone through with it. I feel to guilty to stop, despite working full time and having to pump twice at work every day. I can’t wait to be done with breastfeeding. Having a breastfed child that doesn’t latch is frustrating to say the least. All the work without the bonding makes for a very tiring experience.
Comment by Kayla on Sep 12 2011 05:38:45:
Actually, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least TWO years.
Comment by Ashley on Sep 12 2011 08:08:11:
To the author I would just like to say that (especially since you’re still pumping) it is never too late to try getting them to nurse again. If pumping is a hassle that makes you want to quit (I’ve been there!) then keep offering the breast. It is incredibly rare for a baby to truly just quit, they aren’t wired that way. Both of you are new and learning, give it time. Worth a shot at least! It is sad how few women in the US breastfeed. I know it can’t be because the infant just wouldn’t do it or that we weren’t made right. In Norway 98% initiate it and even months later 90% are still at it! (http://jonirae.com/got-melke/) The US isn’t even close. We need to learn to support it more!
Comment by Katie on Sep 12 2011 08:27:11:
I think about quitting daily, I breastfeed and pump and have to supplement most with formula because my milk supply just isn’t sufficient and hasn’t been since the beginning. I looked forward to breastfeeding, the bond and the easiness that I was told it would be. Boy was I in for a surprise!! Between learning to be a mom and healing from a csection and trying to make time for pumping on top of breastfeeding was just exhausting and still is. My heart just isn’t in it anymore, after 3weeks of me and the baby crying daily it seemed it just took it all out of me. I look for what works and what’s easiest now!
Comment by Kelly on Sep 12 2011 09:03:18:
I absolutely LOVE that there is YET ANOTHER anti-breastfeading, biased article from you that is full of exaggerations and downright lies. If this is why you quit breastfeeding, then this article is why I cancelled my subscription to New Parent. Congratulations!
Comment by Emily on Sep 12 2011 09:37:54:
I appreciated this article. I applaude women who are able to breastfeed. I wish so desperately that I had been more successful. My nipples were so sore, cracked and bleeding that I would start to cry just thinking about feeding my daughter. I was not prepared for the challenges and did not get off to the right start. I didn’t know to take a nursing bra and breast pads to the hospital. After a mandatory c-section (I had hoped for a natural birth) nursing was very difficult and I did not nurse often enough at the hospital. My husband was extremely supportive but he needed sleep too and nursing on one breast, feeding my daughter breast milk in a bottle and then pumping the breast with the cracked nipple, all while having visitors and dealing with family stress became too much to handle. I admit, I gave up, and I feel terrible about it. But I have to remember that the month of breast milk my daughter got was better than none. I will try again with my next child and with the knowledge I have gained with my first I hope to be much more successful. I now know to not allow so many visitors and to kick them out if I need to, I won’t feel self conscious, I have a breast pump so I can begin using it right away if I need to, I know about all the breast pads, lanolin, using tea bags…. It doesn’t help struggling mothers to read comments on the internet about how horrible they are for not nursing their children – trust me they feel guilty enough. I wish every mother could be successful at breastfeeding but we aren’t all successful. But what we can do as mothers is support each other for trying to be the best mother we can.
Comment by Heather on Sep 12 2011 09:59:17:
So with a title like “Why I QUIT Breastfeeding.” you do not sound very pro breastfeeding.
Yeah, I get it it’s HARD I know from experience.. I really do! But I’m not going throw out my bfing miseries. Rather I have two very awesome success stories!! Yes my friends you will experience pain, and conflict etc.. but if you just push through it and get past all that you want to give up on you will see the reason why you’re doing it. It’s fantastic and those that give up are really missing out!!
We need more positive light shed on this, and YES we need to know from others their experience to help ours succeed but when you publish an article like this PLEASE include: research, programs, experiences from Mom’s who struggled and still were successful in the end and didn’t GIVE UP!! Reading all these articles on “giving up” made me want to give up when I was having the hardest time made feel it was ‘okay’ to just give up on my child. I stopped reading them!
Comment by Briana on Sep 12 2011 10:02:25:
I have had to pump since I went back to work when my daughter was two months old. If you think simply pumping was taxing try doing it in a facility full of men, I sold john deere parts for a living and was completely outnumbered. Three times a day I would huddle in the bathroom and try to relax enough to get my milk to drop. Then, typically in front of a room full of men, I would come out milk bags and equipment in hand and receive stares. It was never easy but it was worth it. My daughter is healthier for it. When she started teething, worse pain then child birth, but I didn’t quit. No one said it would be easy to be a mommy, and although I didn’t know what I was getting into, I knew one thing for sure. When my baby came, life was no longer about what I wanted, but what she needed. I realize there are women who can’t breastfeed and would love to and I truly sympathize with those women, but for those who can and don’t for various selfish reasons. Grow up, God gave you breasts and filled them with milk so you can nourish your baby!
Comment by Anne on Sep 12 2011 11:53:51:
I wanted to breastfeed desperately. After repeat cases of mastitis and thrush along with improper latch, cracked bleeding nipples, and severe postpartum depression, it got to be too much to handle. My infections got so bad that I was told by my doctor and lactation specialist that I had to stop nursing long enough to get rid of my infections. At that point I decided not to start again once my infections were gone… I just could not handle the stress.
I saw a lactation specialist right from the start with my second baby. He was latching on good and everything seemed to be going well. Then I got double mastitis when he was just two weeks old, followed by severe thrush. I was told that I was doing everything right, but for some reason my body was just really prone to these infections. I could not take care of myself, let alone my two children because I was so sick with a fever over 103 etc. Thus I ended up with another formula baby.
My third baby was born 7 weeks early via emergency c-section. She was transferred to a hospital in another state (she was in the NICU for a month) and I was still in the hospital for several days recovering from surgery complications including a blood transfusion before I was released and could even go and see her. Then I was commuting 6 hours to visit her while trying to take care of my other two children at home. Pumping and trying to make breastfeeding work was just more than I could handle mentally and physically.
So I have had 3 formula babies who are all happy, healthy, and smart. I do believe that breastfeeding is best and fully support breastfeeding mothers. I do not think that those that use formula should be made to feel guilty for their choice though, or that they are any less of a mother than someone who breastfeeds their baby.
Comment by kjsed on Sep 13 2011 05:56:35:
Happy Mom equals happy baby! There is enough guilt out there to go around and it all comes down to doing what works for you and your family. Breastfeeding is so beneficial but difficult and time-consuming and exhausting. I applaud anyone who keeps it going for as long as they can. I breastfed three babies – first one for 9 months, second one for 6 months and third one for 6 1/2 months. We make so many sacrifices as moms, we all have to figure out what works for us with all the demands in our lives. Formula fed babies are loved just as much as breastfed babies. Don’t feel guilty, give yourselves a break!
Comment by penny on Sep 13 2011 05:58:06:
I didn’t quit breastfeeding, but at the time I wish I had! I persevered through agony, and after two months of serious pain my first child was diagnosed with serious mouth ‘geography’ issues, essentially meaning he couldn’t bring the nipple right to the back of his mouth and was just gnawing away on it – which of course was not very effective, so these torture sessions would go on for 45 minutes to an hour, every 2-3 hours (I would stamp my feet and cry and grab the chair, anything to get me through it). In the end he needed to see an osteopath for a few months to correct his jaw, but it was never pain free, and I continued to deal with it till he was 14 months old. So what is my point – I’m not a glutton for punishment – I was passionate about giving him the best start, and by getting second (and third, and fourth, and fifth) opinions, I was able to find the cause of his issue, and save him a life time of middle ear and throat infections from his messed up mouth/jaw geography. Would I do it again? No, not like that. But I would urge women who are equally passionate about it, who really want to breastfeed but do have problems, not to simply take a lactation consultant, or a well meaning friend, or a doctor’s (or a magazine article’s) advice. If something is wrong, it’s wrong, and there just might be someone out there who can fix it. And also, osteopaths are awesome. If you’re at your wits end, see one!
Comment by Tara on Sep 13 2011 08:26:46:
I agree with Amy ‘PAID FOR BY SIMILAC’ Should have been the title of this article, no solutions, none, just uneducated dribble. 99% of mothers in Norway breastfeed thier babies. No supply issues, no crippling pain, no frustration. Inverted nipples and work are worked through. Let that number soak in, they are no different, same nipples, same jobs, same names, but they can 99% (all) can breastfeed. Breastfeeding can and should be no problem. It is completely normal. If you can birth a baby, your body can feed it. It is so simple. But ta dah….there is SO much money to be made by supplying afb, (artifical baby food). These companies will go to extreme lengths to demonize breastfeeding, making everyone so sure it is a terrible, frustrating, painfull choice. Dear writer, I hope you were paid well for the article because the other side of the coin is you were just a pawn to promote worthlessness.
Comment by Julie on Sep 13 2011 09:50:00:
It is frustrating to read an article that encourages moms to give up breastfeeding their baby when it is known to be best. When my first baby was born in Wisconsin, I developed a bladder infection, had mastitis, and had GREAT difficulties with breastfeeding. He was a big baby and was born very hungry. I was able to use the hospital’s lactation consultants for free, but initially, they didn’t realize how badly damaged my nipples had become. Being a first time mom, I didn’t realize this wasn’t normal. It was only when I went in for my 6 week post delivery OB visit, did the doctor involve the lactation consultants because she saw how badly damaged my nipples were. I stuck with it though, and after 3 months, my nipples were finally healed and nursing was a breeze. My baby nursed until he was 14 months!
Now with my second baby, we had moved to a rural area in Kansas. I had some difficulties with getting our baby girl to latch. The hospital provides a lot of lip service to breastfeeding, but none of the staff seemed to know anything about how to help a mom who wanted to breastfeed. they had all kinds of free items and formula samples to give me to encourage formula feeding. This hospital didn’t have a lactation consultant and the closed one is three hours away! I can appreciate why babies from this hospital are not breastfeed because there is not the support from hospital staff. But I wanted to breastfeed and was so thankful that I had had the difficulties I did with my first as it was extremely helpful this time around. I was able to find a certified breastfeeding educator (which has less training than a Lactation consultant) and she figured out the latching issues pretty quickly, gave me some exercises to help train my baby’s tongue and with some very minor sores to my nipples, my baby was successfully breastfeeding and I was pain free in less than a few weeks after she was born!
As far as not having enough milk supply, I don’t have that problem. I drink tons of water – at least one tall glass every time she nurses, plus water in between. I also have a great pump when it’s needed – medela freestyle dual expression pump. It was definitely worth the expense!! One of my friends said she was recommended to continue pumping once overnight after her twins started sleeping through the night and that would help keep her milk supply up. It seems to be working for her and she is still nursing her twin girls.
If a mom is determined to breastfeed, be your own advocate and find your own help! Best of luck!
Comment by Mom on Sep 13 2011 09:56:11:
Wouldn’t it be nice to live in Norway where breastfeeding mothers get a 2 hour break to nurse every day. Working for a state government agency in the USA, I am not so lucky. I had to return to work when my daughter was 7 weeks old. It broke my heart, but it was either go back to work or go unpaid and we couldn’t afford that. I was out of vacation time. The only paid maternity leave I got was my own sick and vacation time.
I nurse her in the morning and night and pump during the day. Trust me when I say pumping is not the same. As with my son, not nursing during the day caused a massive milk decrease. I am not denying that breastmilk is better, but there are A LOT of positive aspects to a baby that receives both breastmilk & formula like both of mine. My son is the healthiest child that I know and my daughter doesn’t need any additional nasty vitamins because she reeps the benefits of both breastmilk & formula.
I will continue to give my baby girl breastmilk until she reaches 6 months of age when her immune system kicks in. Even if she is just getting an ounce, she will still get teh benefits. But to all the mothers who stop when they feel they are ready…be proud that you made a decision that is right for you and your family. NO ONE has the right to come down on you for your choices or opinions.
Comment by Laurie on Sep 13 2011 09:58:25:
Thank you for this article! To those of you who think this is sponsored by formula companies, shame on you for attacking another mother just for being honest about her own experience. I was fully committed to breastfeeding myself, but for various and myriad reasons was unable to. I felt terrible guilt about it. Believe me, I have heard/read about how “breast is best” eight zillion times and agree wholeheartedly, but sometimes best isn’t possible, and it’s very refreshing to hear from other women who are struggling. We’re not stupid; we know that there are lots of places to go for breastfeeding support and solutions. We mothers who have “failed” don’t need any more reminders or berating. Lyz, thank you again for being brave and sharing!
Comment by Jan on Sep 13 2011 11:41:20:
I think that attacking those who can’t breastfeed and make the choice not to is totally wrong. They will do what works best for their family. The ones we need to attack is the whole workforce. Like in Norway, breastfeeding is supported. Stop and think, if the United States took a more positive approach to breastfeeding and demand more lactation consultants that know what they are doing, then maybe we would be better for it. The numbers would go alot higher on those who brestfeed. I have 6 children and believe me, I have breastfed all of them. The first three I had to go to the bottle after returning to work so I had to pump. It’s not easy to do when, even though you have that right to pump at work, you still feel like everyone is wondering if you will ever get done.
Now, as I am older when I had my 6th child, breasts aren’t as ‘perky’ as they used to be and I think this makes nursing a little more of a challenge. My now 10 month old has never really liked nursing. I have had to pump since the day he was born and have done so religiously after ever feeding. He always used a nipple shield, sns system (supplemental nursing system)to use breastmilk from last pumping and then I go and pump again. The first few months was trying since babies nurse a lot the first few months. Now I am down to pumping 4 times a day and he has weaned himself! He refuses to nurse anymore. His pediatrician found it interesting that he weaned himself. I still pump and give him the milk in a sippy cup. This is a little frustrating to me but I look at it that now I only have two months to go and he can have regular milk. Now, whether I continue to pump after that I don’t know. I will know when the time comes. I think some babies just weren’t cut out to like to nurse such as my son. He loved it when I was engorged ( of course, I didn’t) because he could get the milk fast. I guess that’s the impatience in him.
Every baby is completely different and to compare them to another baby is not right. I think if there is still issues with breastfeeding then talk it over with the pediatrician and then you both can come up with the best solution to fit your needs and your family.
Comment by Barb on Sep 13 2011 11:46:06:
I agree wtih Tara, Ashley, Heather and Briana. Why does a company want to “encourage” mothers to “discourage” other moms from breastfeeding. I often think mothers who say, “I really wanted to breastfeed, but…..” say that because they know breastfeeding is best for their baby. They don’t want to be a bad mom, so saying they want to breastfeed takes that guilt away. I do feel that as a country we have failed at supporting our breastfeeding moms. For years, formula feeding has been the norm and breastfeeding moms had to fight to get any support. I am a OB nurse and childbirth educator and we have several pediatricians who say they are supportive of breastfeeding, but are the first to suggest supplementing when things are hard. Most of our moms are forced to go back to work at 6 weeks because of finances. There are several issues that have caused moms to have problems, but if Norway can have a 98% success rate, why can’t we in America? It may take a long time, but I think if our country stops using formula as the solution to every problem, such as giving free formula to low-income moms, instead of helping them breastfeed, we can eventually overcome the problems we have created.
Also, for pregnant moms out there, if you really want to breastfeed, start thinking now about what you can do for your labor and birth to support that, not taking epidural medicine, not getting induced, and putting your baby “skin to skin” right after delivery. Most moms don’t realize how much their birth can affect the baby’s ability to latch and their ability to make milk. Your body and your baby are very good at doing what they were meant to do if you let them! And most of all, don’t get discouraged by all the negative comments. There are plenty of us out there who had great breastfeeding experientces, but as with many things, everyone wants to share their horror stories.
Comment by Jan on Sep 13 2011 11:52:33:
I just have to add one more thing. Those of you that struggle to breastfeed here is as known fact that might help. Forlmula fed babies may seem to go longer in between feedings. The reason for this is that breastmilk metabolizes faster than formula so that is why you need to nurse more often than formula fed babies. Knowing this, you will know that there is nothing wrong with your breastmilk and that the more you nurse the more you produce.
Comment by Dianne j. on Sep 13 2011 12:42:36:
I stopped breast feeding after the first couple of weeks. My son latched on to one fine but the other was cut up and cracked. I decided to pump (as recommended by the doctors) and not inky was it tedious and time consuming, but I was pumping so much that I felt like I was spending more time with my pump than my newborn son. My husband knew his quirks and what every little cry meant but I didn’t. I was trying to recover and pump. I felt like a cow and the pressure from our lactation consultant and other nazi breast feeding moms was not helping. I swathed to formula and it change everything. Just the stress alone that was taken off my shoulders confirmed my decision. I hated dreading the every three hour pump fest. It would take setting up, mentally preparing for the uncomfortable, 12 minutes per breast and then cleanup and sterilization. Now my son is nine months and is healthy as can be! My friends that BF months and months after always have sick babies and mine has only been sick a few times which the doctor said is expected to happen. I think there needs to be more support for women who stop. I really gave it my all for those few weeks but I will never regret my decision. I will still try again with my next but I won’t feel the guilt if I decide to stop.
Comment by Dianne j. on Sep 13 2011 12:43:53:
Sorry for all the errors. I typed that on my phone haha
Comment by Jill on Sep 13 2011 01:17:27:
Women need to get over themselves already and just breastfeed or not breastfeed. Who cares what you’re doing? I feel only those feeding formula feel the need to defend themselves. Stop making excuses if you don’t want to. The truth of the matter is that yes, it does take much more effort to breastfeed in the beginning, but in the end it is more cost-worthy, efficient and natural way of feeding. Breastmilk is better than formula. It’s a fact. If you can’t suffer through learning to breastfeed, just shut up about it and feed your baby the formula.
Comment by Caroline on Sep 13 2011 05:19:33:
I shared my experiences to help other women who felt like I do. Shame on any of you who don’t value our experiences and refer to them as uneducated. What sort of people are you that think we lied, that our expereinces are dribble, that we have any other motive than to help other mothers. From your horrible, horrible posts, I’m just glad you’re not my mother. Mothering is more than breast feeding. You might want to learn more about acceptance and kindness which unlike your nipples will always be with your children.
Comment by Olivia on Sep 13 2011 05:55:23:
I have a 9 month old and I am proud to say that he is still breastfed. I can’t say that I have had any problems, and I am loving the experience. I feel that my son and I share a close bond due to how long I have breasfed him.
Although I love the fact that Gavin is breastfed I can’t say that there aren’t days that I feel like enough is enough. The breast pump is not my friend. I dislike pumpimg, but I’m sure I will tough it out another 3+ months. My son is so worth it.
Comment by Oubli on Sep 13 2011 07:07:10:
Progesterone Only Pills that I began when I was 6 months postpartum put such a dent in my milk supply that my daughter ‘failed to thrive’, lost almost 2 lbs and had to be mega supplemented with formula and baby food.
I was devastated by that, for another 3 months I did try to breast feed but was very unsuccessful. I only wished that someone had warned me that taking the POPs could effectively KILL my breast milk supply! If I had been warned I would have opted for an immediate copper IUD placement and been able to breastfeed my daughter for the whole year and maybe even beyond.
Signed,
So Damned Angry That I Wasn’t Warned
Comment by Tara on Sep 14 2011 09:47:21:
Caroline…Where did you share your experiences, you are not the author and this appears to be your first post…If you share ANYTHING online, its fair game. You want to publish a blog or an article or even a comment its open to critism, debate and anything else. If you dont like what others say turn off your computer and your tv and your radio. So I dont know if YOU actually lied, but there are some things in the article that are ABSOLUTELY FALSE. I do agree with another post, if you wanna feed your baby artificial baby food dont blame it on breastfeeding, quit using it as an excuse because then it gives breastfeeding a bad name. Just feed your baby the stuff with cockaroach pieces in it and stop blaming it on the breastfeeding nazis!
Comment by Jana on Sep 14 2011 10:57:08:
After reading many of these stories, I have to admit, I was able to find perfect balance. While pregnant, I knew for sure I wanted to breastfeed my son. When he was born three weeks early, we couldn’t really get him to latch on properly. But the LC was happy when we were leaving the hospital. I have to admit, that as many of you, I went throug about three weeks of horrible pains while breastfeeding. No bloody or cracked nipples, but when I would sit down and my husband would be handing me our son, my toes would cramp in pain and I had to count til 10 for the pain to get acceptable. Water in the shower made my eyes tear when touching my breasts. He told me to quit, that it is ok, but I didn’t want to take it away from my son, just because I don’t feel comfortable. Our son just turned 5 months and I am back full time at work. I pump three times at work and in the mornings and evenings I get to enjoy the wonderful, undescribable feeling of my son breastfeeding. We are very lucky he accepts both, bottle with my breastmilk from my mom during the day and my breasts the rest of the time. I would just let everybody know, don’t give up and keep trying. It will get better and enjoyable.
Comment by Lyz on Sep 14 2011 11:45:23:
Thanks for the encouragement @Jana. And @Tara Caroline was one of the women who shared her experience for the story. Also, it’s probably best to tone down the rhetoric. We’re all in the same boat, trying to do what’s best for our babies.
Comment by Vicki on Sep 14 2011 03:47:47:
Breastfeeding should not hurt, if it does get help, if the help is not helpful ask someone else and keep asking until you find someone with the knowledge and skills to make it better, they are out there but sometimes you have to look through lots of dross to find them! If someone looks and says it’s fine but you know it hurts they need more knowledge. If a shoe shop assistant told you the shoes were OK because they were the right size, but you felt them pinch and rub, would you think she was right? Just because your feet are a size 9 would you believe them that you could not wear shoes? Sure you wouldn’t…
If the person you ask for help with soreness can’t fix it with positioning they should know how to check for things like thrush infection, tongue-tie and palate problems, and they should know the solutions for that too. If they don’t then really they have no place trying to support you and should be referring you to someone who DOES know what to do to help!
Supply the same, positioning problems can cause lack of supply because your baby just can’t get at any more than the bit of milk that flows really easily at first. It can be fixed.
Hormone issues, they have pretty obvious symptoms most of the time, and a referral to someone who can help with that is a must if it is suspected! Same goes for medications, the pill, retained placenta, anaemia etc…
I think it is very unfair that women should take on the guilt for a system which tells them breast is best but does not have the first clue how to help make it a reality. There is no wonder women are angry and defensive about their experiences, that is not guilt, it deserves its proper name! Women should not carry the burden resulting from a poor support system and badly trained professionals, but they do… They do the best they can with what they’ve got at the time, they deserve applauding not criticism, but more than that, they deserve the chance to have good support, accurate information and a professional who can help them in a way which is helpful to THEM.
If women have done their best and made an informed choice to stop, then they darned well deserve support for that too, I don’t think it is a decision most mums make lightly, and those that seem to are often so short of quality info and support at all that they can’t make an informed choice because they don’t have enough information to do that ;-(
Breastfeeding does work, if it didn’t the human race would have struggled to over populate our planet. It deserves a chance and women deserve a lot better support than they are getting at the moment.
xxxxx
Comment by Sherry on Sep 14 2011 05:01:22:
I have a four month old son and I am still breastfeeding. However, I have a low milk supply, so I must supplement with formula each day. I have had great support from lactation consultants who worked very hard to get my nearly non-existent supply up to a 75% supply. I pump after every breastfeeding, I take galactagogues, I drink huge quantities of water, I do everything “right” in order to give my son the best supply of breast milk that I can manage. When I went back to work, I asserted my right to pump at work, and I have managed to keep my supply from dropping off.
I don’t do this because someone told me that I must. I don’t care what the fanatics on either side of the fence say. This choice was mine to make and I made it because my own personal vision of a mother is one who breastfeeds. I wanted to be like my mom.
I am the oldest of six kids and I am a formula fed baby. Mom had a lot of complications at my birth, she was a 1000 miles away from her own mother, and not only had no support to breastfeed, but had active discouragement from doctors, nurses, and the hospital. (This was almost 40 years ago.) My mother had watched her mother breastfeed, so she really wanted to do it. She tried harder and was partially successful with the second child. When the third child came along, I was 9 years old. My mother had a tremendous support group this time and she breastfed successfully a year. I watched her, sitting beside her and I would breastfeed my doll. This became a strong bonding experience for my mother and I. I watched her breastfeed the next three as well. To me, that is simply what mom does. That is why I breastfeed.
I don’t worry about when I will stop breastfeeding, I am grateful that I can do as much as I can so that I can fulfill my dream of being like my mom. There have been days when I thought my supply was failing and that I would have to consider quitting. There have been painful days when I wanted to quit. But I always decided to give it one more day, and somehow it usually wasn’t as bad the next day and my supply kept rallying. Rather, I just celebrate each month that I am still breastfeeding.
I would encourage mothers to breastfeed. There are a lot of good reasons to do it, but I would encourage a mom to actively seek sources of support before the child is born. Sharing my experiences, both positive and negative, is the only influence I care to have. After that, I support whatever decision a mom makes that she believes is best for her. I believe that a lot more moms would choose to breastfeed longer if the negative pressure were removed and replaced with a lot of non-judgemental support.
Good luck mothers!
Comment by chinta on Sep 16 2011 09:31:01:
breastfeeding is hard, time consuming and as you said painful at times.
Comment by Melissa on Sep 20 2011 03:15:41:
I breastfed both my boys for about 2 months each time. My problem was not lack of milk, but too much milk. I would not stop leaking. It made it so I was not able to go anywhere because my clothes would be drenched. I would have at least 4 of the breastpads and it still didn’t help. You never hear of this as an issue but it was a major issue for me. I am now pregnant with my daughter and I am still going to give it my best shot again. I believe however long you are able to is better than nothing at all.
Comment by Jessica on Sep 26 2011 01:52:58:
My son is almost 5 and a half months old and I had a hard time with nursing as well…..latch problems in the beginning, extremely sore nipples, a suspected thrush infection with shooting pains, you name it. It just started to get easier a month ago and we are currently going strong. Right now I’m hoping to make it to Christmas, then will see if I can go a year. If my son gets at least 6 months of breast milk I will be very happy. I could pat myself on the back and act all haughty and look down my nose at those who give up, but honestly, I have it nice in so many other ways. I have no other children to look after, I have a supportive family, and I don’t have to work. Some women just have too much on their plates and to deal with that plus the discomforts that come with nursing is just too much. Think before you judge. Some people just can’t do it, and most babies do fine on formula. I didn’t take this as an anti-breastfeeding article at all, it was just another mom being real and sharing that it’s not always easy. Why some people make this issue such a contentious one is beyond me. Live and let live!
Comment by Marley on Sep 30 2011 01:03:58:
I am on my 5th month of breastfeeding. Initially, I had some problems and sadly, the lactation specialist at the hospital where I gave birth was USELESS. That said, I have been really, really lucky but also set the goal that I would breastfeed my son for as long as I could. My son taught me to breastfeed! We work well together and even with teeth, I have managed to make it work. I have had naysayers tell me that I should be “quitting soon” as some people are under the impression that breastfeeding “ends” at 6 months of age. Such an old and outdated view. Our society needs to be much more supportive of this wonderful bonding practice.