The Daily Bootie Newsletter for New Parents

How Long Should You Breastfeed For?




A report from ABCNews.com

Many people see breastfeeding as a natural and loving part of motherhood. So, while there may be disagreements about the proper places to nurse, there is little disagreement about its benefits to infants. Leighanne O’Connor, 42, a stay-at-home mother of three, has breast-fed all of her children. “I breastfeed my kids until they’ve finished,” she said.

But, not everyone would agree with how O’Connor nurses her children. She has nursed beyond the one-year mark. “For Phoebe, my oldest, that was three years, three months. For Chloe, that was three years and 11 months, and Finn is still nursing,” O’Connor said. “He’s just over 2 years old.”

The American Pediatric Association defines extended nursing as breastfeeding infants beyond their first year. In the United States, only 17 percent of new moms nurse their newborn for a full year, according to a survey done by Abbott Laboratories, a formula company.

In some cases, there are mothers who continue to nurse children who have turned 4 or even 5 years old, which is old enough to enter kindergarten, believing their children will reap nutritional benefits. “The idea of breast-feeding a child until they’re a preschooler is still fairly restricted to a small group of women, or at least, it’s kept in the closet,” said ABC News parenting contributor Ann Pleshette Murphy.

The practice of extended nursing has sparked heated controversy because some disagree about when it is no longer appropriate to breastfeed children. Some parenting experts say breastfeeding too long could potentially stunt child development because it may impede a child’s ability to self soothe. However, the American Academy of Pediatrics supports mothers who want to nurse as long as necessary. “It’s completely appropriate that a mother should avail herself to her infant or toddler,” said Dr. Lori Winter, of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “That’s in no way damaging to the child.”





There Are 92 Responses So Far »

  1. I believe in supporting a mother’s decision. What might be right for one parent or child may not be right for another. Children and mothers are unique. We should never be reduced to statistics.

  2. The article has a mistake. It says the WHO recommends nursing for up to 2 years. Actually, the WHO recommends nursing for AT LEAST two years. Extended breastfeeding does not stunt development. I’m amused by the silly things people believe.

  3. I’m so over this whole “self-soothe” crap that “experts” continue to throw around, by the way. Four children, and never ONCE – not for a single nap or a single bedtime, did I ever make them “self-soothe” – they were nursed, rocked, cuddled, parented, and loved to sleep every single time. My face was the last thing they saw when they closed their eyes (and the first thing when they opened them). I can assure you my 16, 11, and 4 year olds no longer need me to rock them to sleep! How ridiculous that a child will “never” self-soothe. Or “never” sleep in their own bed. Or any plethera of other “nevers” that everyone tosses around. That really gets my goat. I still rock my 20 month old and will until she decides, on her own, that she doesn’t want me to (and that will be a sad day indeed).

    Now, onto the subject of breastfeeding. I agree with at least two. My last daughter weaned at 18 months and I regret it. I’ve considered relactating but haven’t finalized that yet. I think every mother should breastfeed if they can – and only a VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE can’t (unlike what you read on message boards – it seems like about half of women “don’t make enough milk” or whatever else they say). It’s a glorious loving gift, the most natural thing in the world, and absolutely the best thing for baby. AND mama! :)

  4. My first daughter I only breastfeed till she was 6mnths old. I was very young and did not know ALL the benefits and did not have the support. Know that I have my second child after 2oyrs, I have educated myself and wonder why more moms don’t breastfeed. She is 22 mnths old and she breastfeeds at night and maybe an occasional snack on the weekends. It is a comforting method for her and myself. She is very independent, strong and she eats all kinds of foods. It is a very special bonding time and the BEST that you can provide to your child. I would never change it for the world. Uncomfortable situations not me who doesn’t like don’t have to look, their just uneducated individuals.

  5. It is absolutely up to the mother and child to determine how long nursing continues. That is all anyone needs to say about it.

  6. I was really annoyed by the email they sent out about the article. It says “Is 1 year too long to breastfeed?…” I consider one year the absolute minimum and I hate that they imply that someone who breastfeeds to one year is some kind of strange, extended nurser that requires an article to be written about them.
    Why not send an email with something like this: “The Benefits of Nursing Past Infancy.”

  7. I think breastfeeding is a natural and wonderful thing. It was hard for me, unfortunately I couldn’t produce much milk but I breastfeed for as long as I could. (My daughter is 10 months and if I was able to I would still be breastfeeding.) Even the smallest amount has amazing benefits. I think the benefits of Breastfeeding are great and you should do it for as long as you feel comfortable if it’s for 6 months or two years.

    On another note I have to say I agree with Sandra (who commented earlier) I don’t let my daughter “self Sooth”,babies need comfort and I’m there to comfort her when she needs it no matter what. I’ve had people tell me “let her cry it out”, “she’s gonna be spoiled”. I don’t agree with that,You CAN NOT Spoil an infant.

  8. I have two teenage sons who both nursed until eight and 10 months. I was really disappointed I couldn’t get them to the one year mark but one day they each decided they were done and I couldn’t convince them otherwise.

    Now I have a 20 month old and he LOVES his “boo”. I can’t get him to stop. He’s addicted. LOL I’m like a drinking fountain for him. I don’t mind before naps and bed or first thing in the morning but when he’s jumping on me every 10 minutes, it does get to be a bit much and I get sore sometimes, especially if he leans in a way that his teeth dig a bit. If I try to dissuade him and ask where his sippy cup is, he gets furious, wails, and will go after my breasts and fiercely pull them out of my bra and shirt until he gets enough of the nipple out to latch on. He’s got no intention of giving up the boo any time soon though I prefer that it be limited to maybe four times a day.

    I wouldn’t mind so much if he’d sleep through the night but he often wakes up once or twice and wants his boo to get him back to sleep. Two years of sleep deprivation are hard on a mom. Thankfully, my older two and my husband help watch him in the mornings many times so I can take a nap.

    Still, if it really bothered me that much, I could cut him off cold turkey but I wouldn’t do that. I’ll deal with it a bit longer because I also enjoy the bonding and know this is the last time I’ll ever be doing this. Once he stops, it’s over and I’ll miss the closeness it gives us.

  9. My son is 22 months old and still breastfeeding. As a working mom, I cherish this time with my son. I am so happy that I can still provide a wonderful source of nuturing both physically and emotionaly for him.

    I encourage every famly to explore the benefits of breastfeeding, and to find how it fits into their lives.

  10. My daughter is 16mos and still breastfeeding,This article made me feel much better because when I tell people that she still nurses.They act as if it’s a terrible thing.I feel like i’m doing whats best for her.I think more people should breastfeed,and educate themselves on the benefits.

  11. Extended Breastfeeding and cosleeping is up to the individual it is said. But what about the relationship between the parents? Parents need to have time to be a couple, to enjoy time alone, to have sex and affection and it’s going to be very difficult if the schedule forever follows the kids sleeping schedule or the breastfeeding schedule after children no longer need the nutritional value. Most kids who co-sleep will not go to sleep on their own in the family bed so when do the parents have time to talk about their day and bond again? Parenting is important but so is marriage. One or two times a week date nights is not enough. Being a mommy seems to now supersede being a marriage partner. Put your marriage first and watch the kids security come from knowing Mom and Dad have a strong marriage and love them alot.

  12. I deffinelty support breastfeeding. I breastfed my son for 14 months. I knew that it was best for both of us, but I did tend to complain at times that it was difficult, since he didnt take the bottle even with my milk and he was so depended on me, it was hard but it was also such a wonderful bond.
    I also think that moodymoose77 who commented righ before me has a VERY GOOD point. Since I was nursing my son was co sleeping and now he is 2 years old and we are teaching him to fall asleep and sleep in his own room and in his own bed. It is absolutely TRUE, yes kids are so important, but we absolutely CANNOT forget about our husbands. A thriving and loving marriage will benefit both the parents and the children, when they grow up with parents who do live together happily. Children will grow up and leave to start thier own family but we are left with our husbands, who we will live with the rest of our lives.

  13. i have to agree with moodymoose77. my wife has no sex drive whatso ever which is most likely related to breastfeeding. she removes my hands from the touch and isn’t interested in any type of sex. she has been breastfeeding for 18months and our new marriage is suffering. when is enough enough with breastfeeding? when does the sex drive of a breastfeeding mother come back? my wife is not exclusively breastfeeding. she only breastfeeds in the am. is there any benefits from doing this just once a day? When my wife is no longer breastfeeding will her breast get back any of the old shape or size? i’m new with all of this so bare with me please.

  14. I believe that breast feeding is a natural way to bond with your child. To each is own, I guess. There is nothing wrong with breast feeding past the one year mark.

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  16. “Full term breastfeeding” can replace the phrase “extended breastfeeding.” Breastfeeding beyond 1-2 years is beneficial for all involved.

  17. For those of you complaining extended breastfeeding ruins a couples relationship: you have a whole lifetime to be a couple. breastfeeding will not last a lifetime. If a few years of breastfeeding is going to ruin your marriage then you probably shouldnt have been married in the first place. This is for a mother and child’s benefit. Youd think both parents would want the best for their children!

  18. I nursed my son until he was three, and we still co-sleep with him and he’s three and a half. We are pregnant again and it was my husband’s idea to co-sleep with all of them. He loves the idea of the family bed. I disagree it hurts your marriage. We still share times alone, and can still talk. Co-sleeping has allowed all of us to bond together as a family and re-connect after a crazy day. Apparently my husband and I have found a way to have sex, as we are pregnant again. So it can happen. You just have to make time for all members of your household.

  19. We should call it “full term nursing” vs “premature weaning”. “Extended nursing” implies that it is over and above what is normal when the biological evidence is unambiguous, our children thrive when nursed for years and suffer health consequences when nursed for less.

  20. I’ve breastfed all 8 of my children. 2 of them only nursed to 11 months because I was pregnant with the next and I didn’thave enough with the hormonal changes. But, 3 have nursed over 18 months and I loved the time with them. It bothered me that people tried to tell me my son, at 15 months, was ‘too old’ to still be nursing. I see 2 year old toddlers with bottles. Why shouldn’t a nursing baby have the same right/opportunity?
    As far as extended breastfeeding harming the relationship-posh. It’s the same as anything else-if you let it ruin it, it will. I was still nursing all my littles when the next one was conceived, so obviously, it hasn’t ruined a thing. It’s like love-you have to choose to make it work. We co-sleep. I wear the babies as long as they let me. I nurse as long as they want and I am able. My relationship is strong. We choose to work at it-and have for 17 years.

  21. I am thankful that my husband agrees that our children are most important. We have gobs of alone time and considering #2 and #3 were both conceived before we ended the family bed it’s obvious our sex life wasn’t hampered ;-) I nursed my oldest for just over 2 years, my daughter for 20 months (she weaned when I got pregnant with our youngest) and I’m still nursing my youngest. It’s more telling of ‘notimefordad’ that he’s too selfish to put himself on the back burner for this short season of their marriage..

  22. In answer to the above question, breastfeeding your young toddler even just once a day has huge benefits for the child. It is however rather unlikely that your partner’s response to sex is because of a once a day breastfeeding relationship. If it is a hormonal issue, a doctor should be seen.

    I breastfed my daughter for three years and six months. I believe she would have weaned three months sooner, but I was taking herbs to increase my milk supply in order to pump for a friend’s adopted premature baby. Previous to receiving human breast milk, this child was burning more calories trying to digest formula than she was actually receiving from the formula.

    My daughter is a brilliant, well adjusted very secure and very independent four year old now. At three years old she was horrified by the idea of not nursing anymore, and I, because I had a thorough understanding of child physiology and trusted my daughter to know her own needs, assured her that she could breastfeed as long as she needed to do so. By three and a half, she was nursing once every few days, and when my supply naturally diminished, my daughter was thrilled that she was old enough to not need her “yums” anymore. The last day she breastfed she happily declared “I’m big enough now!” and that was that.

    Culture changes. In my daughter’s lifespan of four years the AAP has changed their guidelines from a minimum of six months to a minimum of a year, and the WHO has upped the recommended minimum duration of breastfeeding to two years. I would hate to wean at one or two and look back fifteen years from now when they recommend baby led weaning between three and four and know that I denied my child’s need because of faulty advice. I would rather follow my baby’s lead now, and trust her ability to tell us both when her need is filled.

  23. I did fail to mention that my relationship with my husband flourished during those years! There are a couple other places in the house that parents can have sex other than the bedroom, and there is nothing like a common love and a common goal to unite two people. I have never loved my husband as much as I did when I saw him sacrifice his own needs to care for me while I was providing what only I could for our little one. Unselfishness, not self-centerdness , grows strong marriages.

  24. I am saddened by the comments and the idea that breastfeeding and the family bed hamper a couple’s relationship. That certainly has not been the case for us. I would venture that if you are having problems, it is not because of those things. You would have had problems anyway. And I also completely agree with the comment that breastfeeding and cosleeping are SUCH a short time of your life. If those couple years are going to ruin your marriage, it was most likely doomed to begin with. I have faced this type of thinking from a friend as well and think it is so sad that being the best mother and father you can to your child is equated to dooming your marriage relationship.

  25. Alexandrea, that is a great post. I am nursing my daughter who is on the cusp of being three. She has told me she is not ready to give up the *babies* a she calls them. She is secure, happy and super healthy and I see no reason to rush her development. I love that my older daughters see this as normal and talk about one day nursing their own babies. I hope that the culture that they have their babies in will be more accepting of breastfeeding than the one I am in now.

  26. I breastfed my first until she self-weaned at 16 months, and my second just turned 1 and is still going strong. I have to say, my husband and I have a deeper, more understanding relationship after the kids than we did before them. We were in love and have had a strong relationship since the beginning, but I think that there is something inherently attractive about watching your partner nurture your children. (My husband is easily as nurturing as I am, maybe even moreso.) And I can definitely say that our sex life has not suffered!

  27. In response to moodymoose77:

    My daughter just weaned at 27 months old and has co-slept since birth. My partner and I have a wonderful relationship. As long as both parents are on board with everything, you work it out because there is no resentment.

    Our children come first, our relationship comes second. We are adults and can deal with things on our own. Children cannot. We are here to nurture and protect them because they cannot do it alone.

  28. We encourage the continued discussion of extended breastfeeding and support moms in all circumstances on our fb page – http://www.facebook.com/babygooroo so please join us here. 

  29. I would say that a nursing woman’s sex drive can vary… it is very normal for a new mother to be less interested in sex in the early months for a variety of reasons. Sometimes nursing continues to suppress the drive… there are some cultures in which the women don’t have sex until their child is weaned, actually. So, while nursing might contribute to a woman’s decreased sex drive at 18 months postpartum, there are also many women whose drives return to “normal” much earlier than this regardless of how many years they nurse.
    As for a woman’s breasts… it is not breastfeeding that changes them, it is pregnancy. While they may be larger while she is lactating, they are going to change shape and “sag” due to the hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, even if she doesn’t nurse at all.
    Couples who have a family bed can certainly find time for sex. Babies are only little for a short time, and after 1-3 years most end up sleeping through most of the night on their own without any interference. That leaves plenty of time for sex. Once the baby can sleep a somewhat long stretch, she can be put to bed earlier than the parents and then they have time for whatever for a few hours before they go to bed. Co-sleeping doesn’t have to mean that the parents go to bed with the 2 yr old at 8:00 every night.

  30. RE: co-sleeping/breastfeeding and the couple’s relationship.

    I recently wrote a post on that very topic, entitled, “Co-sleeping and Your Sex Life.” http://metropolitanmama.net/2009/10/co-sleeping-and-your-sex-life-what-you-need-to-know/ :)

    Also – I breastfed my oldest daughter until she was just shy of two and I am currently nursing our youngest (15 months old).

  31. I don’t read comments to articles about breastfeeding because so many of them make my blood boil, so please forgive me if someone has pointed this out already, but the breastfeeding recommendations of health organizations are not stated correctly.

    The exact wording of the AAP recommendation is as follows “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.” Reference here. This article waters down the recommendation. It is indeed for AT LEAST one year.

    The World Health Organization words its recommendation thus “Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.” The source for that is here.

    There is absolutely no way to infer medical disapproval of breastfeeding beyond one year either by the WHO or the AAP. Quite the reverse is true.

  32. You mean I have to put up with a crying infant for as long as it takes him to fall asleep? But I’ve been working all day and I didn’t sign up for this type of parenting. I’m ok to doing whatever would make my life easier and less stressful. But, honey, our pediatrician recommends that we start teaching our infant good sleeping habits. I don’t care, my needs come first! Betty, you go on and put that nipple on that child and you keep putting that nipple until he needs it. I don’t care if you have to go to kindergarten with him.

    Pe

  33. People:
    Make sure that what you are doing is really for the benefit of your precious one and not because it is the easiest thing for you.

  34. [...] 4.  Reduces the mother’s chances of pre-menopausal breast cancer. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding babies up to two years because of this very reason. ((taken from NewParent.com) [...]

  35. I breastfed my son for 14 months until I became pregnant and my Dr said I had to stop as it was unhealthy for the child I was carrying and could send me into preterm labor. He wasn’t quite ready, tho I was I still really wanted to let him wean himself. I was starting to get comments and “concerns” about feeding him that long and it always bugged me. A mothers instincts tend to be right on target for what her child needs, and they say a child will eat and drink what they NEED if introduced to healthy foods, why isn’t that principal applied to nursing? There were many many many generations before formula and it was never looked down upon, I don’t understand why just bc there are now other MAN-MADE options that naturally led into using cows milk at a certain age that a mother should also stop nursing at that said age. Breastfeeding is on the rise again and I think that as more and more women are choosing this route for their children and themselves, we will once start seeing more and more “extended nursing” as they call it. Sorry for the “” but the phrase in it self kinda bugs me, implies that longer than a year is longer than necessary.

  36. i AM SO TIRED OF ALL THE lA LECHE CROWD! FORMULA FED BABIES ARE EVERY BIT AS LOVED AND NURTERED AS OTHER BABIES. HAVING BOTH BREAST FED AND BOTTLE FED MY KIDS I SEE NO DIFFERENCE IN THEIR HEALTH, INTELLIGENCE OR DEVELOPMENT. AS LONG AS YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS, THEY ARE GOOD TO GO! HAVING SAID THAT I HAVE MET WOMAN BREAST FEEDING 3, 4 AND 5 YR OLDS AND THE IMPRESSION I GET IS THAT IT IS MORE FOR THE MOTHER THAN THE CHILD…

  37. You are all crazy.

  38. Wow. Breastfeeding til a kid is 4, 4 1/2? That’s disgusting, and in my opinion, child abuse.

  39. And co-sleeping? Really? Isn’t the point of being a parent to teach your children to be independent so they can grow up and start their own lives? Yeah, it’s great for insecure parents who can’t handle having their child out of their sight, but think of what you’re doing to your kids. All of you crazy people have just reinforced my parenting views.

  40. breast feeding is an amazing way to bond with your child..But not the ONLY way you have to move on at some point..talking about a titty baby =] do something more Suitable or proper to bond like take them to a park or teach them how to ride a bike 1 year is a good amount for their health and yours

  41. Feed your kid Breast milk all day long for all I care, but my GOd cant you pump it out and put it in a freakin Bottle?? I really dont need to see you all “bonding” out in public, 4 years old and standing there latched on getting lunch at Walmart. REALLY, Bottle it!, Put it in a SIPPY CUP! Dont just whip it out in front of everyone and plug your child in, like your charging an electric car!

  42. Save all that physical bonding to do in your home , it is just plain CREEPY either way but we the people dont need to see it.

  43. I’m amazed by the negative comments I see here. I nursed my first till 1 year and my second until 14 months. I wanted to stop at the 1 year marker but he would have none of it, he loved our time together. I personally don’t want to do it until 3 but who on earth am I to tell you you can’t. It’s outside my comfort zone but it also doesn’t accommodate my life. I needed to go back to work.
    You’re the mama and you get to choose what works for you.
    xx K

  44. My son Peyton is 3 weeks old, and ive just started to introduce formula because i feel that keeping my breasts in pads and a shirt leaking all day, is very unsanitary for him to be eating off of. Especially since the doctor says i cant use soap on my breasts because it will dry my nipples out. but on the other hand, his formula smells like vomit, and it gives him the hick-ups, so now im starting to think that breastfeeding, would be the better option, what do you all think???

  45. Jessy My baby is turning 13 months and I never had to use my breastpads.Still breastfeeding by the way. I think it takes a confident and strong person to breastfeed. Without confidence you will listen to all of the people who tell you just to formula feed…

  46. Jessy- Breast is best!!

  47. I am so jealous of you all. I wish that I could breastfeed for a year or even longer! Unfortunately I am unable to produce enough breastmilk. I pump 6 hours a day and I am lucky if I express 1 ounce a day. I have been doing this for 4 months now but it is really cutting into my time with my son. I feel like I am missing so much valuable time with my 4 month old son that I will never get back. I am torn because I want to give him as much breastmilk as possible but I also want to be able to cherish every moment I can with him. I think I am going to have to stop pumping :(

  48. I dont know what the big deal is about breastfeeding? I think its fine for the 1st year if you are able to do it. There are alot of women that have to go right back to work and cant do it. I personally did not get breastfed and I am very very healthy..in fact my mother could not afford babyfood..so she cooked vegetables and mashed them up and fed me. I am encouraging my friend who has a newborn to breastfeed no longer than a year..plus she will have to wean the baby off as well. Personally I think beyond a year..it is encouraging the child to forgo solid healthy foods…and I have a friend who has a little girl who wont eat anything..all she wants is breastmilk…and that isnt good or healthy for her.

  49. If you want to breastfeed your baby for a long time when do you start introducing cereals and solids? I am almost at 4 months but want to make it at least to a year. I feel all of you working Moms I went back to work after 4 weeks and pumped like heck. I even got in trouble for pumping at work but it didn’t stop me. I’m just that stubborn. My husband is even on the formula bandwagon because all the women in his family have convinced him formual is fine. Good thing I don’t buckle under pressure ;)

  50. LOL! There are so many other ways to “bond” with your child besides watching them gorge on your breast. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to breastfeed. Also, I’m thinking 6 months is a good time to switch to formula. I will probably be doing a lot of pumping and not so much skin to skin feeding. Any type of engagement – feeding, playing, soothing, rocking is bonding in my opinion.

    I was born in the 80′s and formula fed and I truly love my parents – super close to them. Also, I’m smart, well-educated, strong and attractive. I obviously have a healthy self esteem as well. Who we become has to do with how we’re taught. Not whether or not we weened from a tit or a bottle.

    Moms nowadays put so much stress on themselves.

  51. If I have to see you or your teenagers making-out in public, you can certainly manage to turn your head while i nourish my child. no one is forcing you to watch – it must be your own curiosity driving you to do so. breast milk is chemically healthier for babies and is what nature intended for them to have. those who physically can’t breastfeed do well to give their baby formula, of course. the rest of you are just plain lazy.

    i breastfeed full time, co-sleep when my son needs to and my husband and I have a fantastic sex life, plenty of time to talk about our day and have never been closer than we have been since bonding over our little one. If you do not have a good relationship with your spouse, you cannot blame it on your child or on breastfeeding.

    breastfeeding gives children an extra edge. No one has said that formula fed babies can’t do well also, or become good people. I was formula fed because my mother could not breastfeed and I too am well adjusted. however, unlike my breastfed brothers, I am frequently ill, have severe allergies and asthma and poor hair and nails. My son will breastfeed for as long as he feels the need. Believe me, it is not for my benefit, as I find breastfeeding to be quite painful. It is not for the glory of martyrdom either. I was a very insecure child for reasons that have nothing to do with breastfeeding, and I want to ensure that my son is very secure. A secure child will more readily experience new things. No one on this forum has said that anyone must breastfeed until their child is four or five years old, nor even that they ought to. Many children are done with breastfeeding by the time they are two years old, or even before. My brother was done with breastfeeding at eight months old.

  52. I understand the values of breast feeding, but I find it interesting the only people commenting here are the ones who believe in extended breast feeding. I also see a lot of women defending family sleeping arrangements and the lack of sex life since early childhood only lasts a few years. Much like finances, religion, careers, children, and other important important compatabilities in a marriage, sex is important too. If a family sleeping arrangement impedes on the quality and quantity of a couple’s intimacy they may want to reevaluate having kids in their bed and extended breast feeding. The couple is the original two family members and their bond can make or break the family as a whole.

    In addition, speaking from working in the mental health field for years, “family beds” are often considered a red flag for abuse when children are beyond toddler years and in school. It can sometimes result in a CPS report, depending on the cirsumstances, regardless of if itMs innocent bonding time or not and parents need to be aware of that when their kids go to school. A night or two here and there is fine, but school aged children sharing beds with parents when a separate bed is available for them is certainly controversial, especially if the father sleeps in the bed. It can become priming for future sexual abuse. I’m certainly not accusing dads of sexually abusing their kids in all family beds, but you have to consider all angles with these decisions. Also, there are benefits of creating independence at a young age because, like it or not, our culture rewards independence.

    Just some things to keep in mind when making these decisions, since the general feel of these comments are it’s good and well to breast feed until the child chooses not to and family beds still allow for good marital relations. Ultimately, everyone needs to do what is right for their own family.

  53. I nursed my first son for two years (he’s three now). That was about the time he was losing interest and got interested in other foods anyway (when he was able to eat a lot of “Mommy and Daddy” foods), so it was more than fine with me.

    I’m about to have my second son, and I hope to be able to nurse him for a while, but we’re looking at major changes in our lives over the next year or two. I suspect that I’ll have to cut the new guy short. I feel bad about that, but I’m going to nurse him for at least six months, and as long as possible after that.

    I think it made my first son healthier. He has no food allergies (although he did get my skin allergies and hay fever, oops!) and is lean and healthy. He’s not too skinny, either, and is really strong, so I think I did things right. Now if I could figure out why he hates chicken…

  54. Just a comment to those who think that women use “not producing enough milk” as an excuse. This is a real issue, and yes, there are ways to increase milk production, but it is very frustrating and sad to not be able to produce enough milk for your baby. I work full time and I have to pump as often as possible and supplement some formula. It is cruel to pass that kind of judgement on a new mom when you have not been in their shoes. You should be ashamed.

  55. I’m glad I read these comments I been breastfeeding my first kid he’s eight months I was think I needed to stop tell reading your comments I was just wondering does anyone have advice on increasing my milk my milk recently got where I’m getting less I’m not stoping breastfeeding though just trying to figure out how to increase

  56. I have to laugh when I read all the comments made by the breastfeeding zealots. Really, I think it’s an obsession with some people. I know people who were formula fed who grew up to be brilliant, beautiful, successful, and well-adjusted. Just because you give your 5-year-old the tit does NOT mean he will be superior to a formula fed child. For the record, I have an almost 6-month-old baby and we are breastfeeding and I intend to nurse him for a year if I can, but after that I am DONE. I’ll come out and say it….extending nursing is not a panacea for illness, emotional difficulties, or any other problems in your child’s life down the road. Breast is best up to a point. And I agree with a few other posters above….your relationship comes before breastfeeding. Period. My husband would never be able to sleep if I took our child to bed with us, and I am putting his needs above convenience (because really, that’s what cosleeping boils down to). My son does just fine in his crib and is VERY happy and content. I rest my case.

  57. Wow! There are a lot of nuts out there. Maybe some of you women should learn to self-soothe and stop using your children to fulfill YOUR needs. Breastfeeding is fine for 6 months to a year and after that it’s time to snip the apron strings ladies. Cuckoo! Ha ha!

  58. I just want to say that a family bed is not conductive to abuse. Most cultures around the world use the family bed. Most of my very large extended family operate with a family bed and they are not abusive. I’m not saying this because I favor it, because I don’t. As soon as I turned three I wanted my own room and when my baby is born is I plan to put her in her own room as soon as possible. It might not be right away but within the first six months for sure. About breastfeeding: I can’t wait! I plan it somewhere between a year or two, I can’t say now. I do have 25 cousins though and when I asked my aunts last month how long they breastfed, we discovered that the children who were breastfed to about two years are thinner now than those who were bottle fed or breastfed for less than a year. Can’t tell for sure how correlated it actually is but it is something to think about as they were from different parents and are now adults.

  59. My son is 3 and half and still breastfeeding about once each day. He loves it and it is a fantastic way to help him sleep and to soothe him. Those who think mothers breastfeed preschoolers for their own selfish reasons are mad. I felt it was important to breast feed until 3 but now I would be very happy to stop! However, I will not upset him to do so.

    Congratulations mother who do breastfeed for long periods as you are doing the absolute best for your kids. After all when you think how quickly a child's brain is developing in those earlier years, so much better to fuel that development with milk designed especially for small humans rather than milk designed for small cows!

  60. It is the best thing in the world. I have three sons and did not have enough support to continue breastfeeding my first two sons. It is the way God intended it to be. Most mothers that don’t are just making excuses. If they ever did they would realize what they are depriving them and their child from. My third son was breastfed for fourteen months and never took a bottle. I think you are putting your marrage first when you meet the most important God giving way to commit to the needs of your children. There are plenty of fun and invigorating ways to have sex without depriving your marriage. Do the right thing…breastfeed your child.

  61. Love this article!

  62. My comment is whatever works go ahead and do what's best for your child. We all know breast milk is best but as a mother of 3 I always found that a lot of ( not all) mothers who breastfed past 1 year feel the need to defend themselves and in turn end up talking negatively about the moms who "can't or don't" breastfeed.

  63. My comment is whatever works go ahead and do what's best for your child. We all know breast milk is best but as a mother of 3 I always found that a lot of ( not all) mothers who breastfed past 1 year feel the need to defend themselves and in turn end up talking negatively about the moms who "can't or don't" breastfeed.

  64. I agree and disagree. Balance is key, Breastfeed your baby when needed and when its bed time put them to sleep with breastfeeding,then after that put the baby in their cribs and cater to your spouse. No greater bond is love and love will balance out the needs of children and spouse. Baby safe, Daddy happy and mother content knowing she has pleased her whole family and its arrangment.

  65. I just want to say I was not breast fed more than 2 months, I was adopted and I was perfectly healthy and fine, a little chunky cute baby. I am smart, I was head of my class, and talented in sports and musically a prodigy. So I don’t think breast feeding actually does that much of a difference.. but go for it, it definitely doesn’t hurt anything.

  66. To notimefordad, not all breastfeeding mothers lose their libido and affection for their other half, certainly not where I am concerned. After about a few months post-birth, I was ready for intimacy and once it all came back I was ‘normal’ again. In fact it is my partnor who has more trouble with it, not me. Even though I breastfeed multiples times a day and spend most of my time with my little one, I still have time to talk with my partner. Where there is a will there is a way. It could be that your wife is frustrated and tired with being a new parent and you cannot put the reason wholly down to breastfeeding.

    I am still breastfeeding my 28 month old, who really seems to enjoy the ‘ritual’ of feeding on my ‘buttons’, with the ‘mummy jacket’ next to her skin. I really believe that at this point it’s more about the comfort and soothing qualities of breastfeeding, whether or not nutritional values still apply. I do wish that she would stop on her accord soon but if she wants to carry on until she is 3 then I will let her. I don’t think I will go above 3 though, but you never know whether my feelings will be different. My lttle girl is dead friendly, confident and forward, and she learnt her alphabet and knew how to count to 20 (even backwards) when she turned 2.

    Sure all children need to learn independence, but if they don’t have a good foundation derived from love, care and nurture then how are they going to learn how to be secure. My mother more or less neglected me and I have grown up an emotional mess. I would not want to wish this upon my worst enemy. Striking a balance is the key, but when kids are young the thing they want most in the world is unconditional love and affection.

  67. Sorry, but if you are breastfeeding a three year old thats for mom, not for the baby.

  68. Love the article… my mom tells me to stop breastfeeding my 1 year old and my husband says to keep going until the baby doesn't want it anymore. But after reading this article I think I'm going to go with what my husband says. because my daughter loves it.

  69. If you don't think it's right to breastfeed after one. Why don't you just pump and give in a bottle.

  70. I don't understand the nutritional value in nursing your child past year one. They can eat normal foods and obtain all nutrients needed from that. If I’m wrong please educate me. And the thought of upsetting the child is really hard to take. Welcome to the world, your child is going to at some point in thier life be upset. Teach them how to get over it.

  71. Breastfeeding is fine if that is what you choose to but past one year old is not for the baby it is the mother who has a problem.

  72. u have an opinion for everything…lol… how does this relate to u exactly?lol…

  73. They ASKEDfor opinions lol

  74. u r sooo funny..

  75. Its like a multi-vitamin we dont get enough nutrition from the food we eat.

  76. So give them a multi-vitamin. I fully support breastfeeding, when you have an infant that is liquid gold. But at some point there is a stopping point. You don't need nutritional support like that once you are able to eat regular foods and you are consuming the calories. Because if not, then shouldn't we ALL still be breastfeeding?

  77. So what are you going to do when she's five and still loves it?

  78. Christia Rachelle Arsenault why would you give them supplements if all the nourishment is already within YOUR body. My wife doesn't do this but we also see nothing wrong with it either. You should actually avoid pills

  79. I don't know about other Mums, but my 2 yr old son is quite possibly Autistic. Anyone familiar with the disorder can tell you that some of these kids have food issues. My son is one of those. So, I still breastfeed him, and NO a milut-vitamin won't cover it. Breaastmilk not only has all his nutrients, but all the calories missing due to his eating habits. Besides, why give him a supplement when I have the all natural goods right here.

    America is the only place that does the one year mark anyways. The World Health Organization suggests breastfeeding until 2.

  80. I don't know about other Mums, but my 2 yr old son is quite possibly Autistic. Anyone familiar with the disorder can tell you that some of these kids have food issues. My son is one of those. So, I still breastfeed him, and NO a milut-vitamin won't cover it. Breaastmilk not only has all his nutrients, but all the calories missing due to his eating habits. Besides, why give him a supplement when I have the all natural goods right here.

    People need to stop judging others. We all have our reasons for doing what we do. Unless ou have walked a mile in someone's shoes, you have no right. To say that someone has a problem because they chooose to breastfeed past one… just plain rude.

    America is the only place that does the one year mark anyways. The World Health Organization suggests breastfeeding until 2.

  81. I am with you. My son is probably Autistic and 2 years old, so he has food issues. Breastfeeding is the best way for me to get him all his nutrients and calories. And you're right, cow's milk doesn't have the DHA and ARA that mother's milk has. Hell, formula companies just caught on to those, and still they are not required in formula, you have to pay for the premium formulas to get those.

  82. I have found myslef in both camps. My first couldn't breastfeed, my second did so only for 2 months and my milk dried up, and my third went for six months. However, it seems my body caught on just in the nick of time. My 2 yr old son has ASD and with it comes food issues. So, he not getting all his nutrients and calories due to a limited diet. I am still breatfeeding him and will comtinue to do si until I feel comfy that he's not going to suffer loss of nutrients and calories because of it. And I SO have to defend myself from judgemental people. It's just AMAZING how quick people are to judge without all the facts.

  83. But I would never talk badly or judge someone esle for deciding not to breastfeed. to each his own.

  84. If your child is autistic then I’m sure he has oral aversion and breastfeeding for him could also be quite soothing. But if that is the case any one will tell you to get his evaluated by a speech therapist and they can guide you in helping feed him & giving him extra calories to help him grow in every aspect.

  85. He's had a speech and an OT therapist for six months now. They both agree with me.

  86. We're working on expanding his diet, but for now this is still the best way.

  87. I have nursed my children till they were 6m. I wish I would have done longer, however I saw they were starting to get depended on my boob to be at ease, they would wake up at night just to nurse, and personally, I didn't like the dependence on the boob. Good for those who nurse till 1! After that they start growing teeth to eat. At some point they are going to have to learn to use their mouth for this instead of nursing. Neither parties are right when it comes to nursing…. Do what's right for you, but If you nurse longer for a year, don't complain on weaning, biting, etc! That's what's super annoying!

  88. Totally with you here!

  89. Because pumping will eventually cause you to dry up. my sister is drying up after a month.

  90. I am going on 11 months of just pumping. I did not dry up. I wish they would educated moms on pumping. I was told the same thing in the hospital that I would dry up. Well guess what I pump. 20 oz a day.

  91. Keep going mum!

  92. what kind of pump do you use!? that is awesome. It is so painful for me to breastfeed still I would love to just pump and feed it to him! That's so great that you get 20 oz a day Nichole.

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